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Any Good Jokes Gyaan Aboot?


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15. No, YOU assume the position.

14. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

13. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?

12. No, offi, offic, lucifer . . . I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.

11. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110 mph.

10. Back off, Barney, I've got a piece.

9. Want to race to the station, Sparky?

8. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!

7. On the way to the station let's get a six pack.

6. You'll never get those cuffs on me. . . You Homo!

5. Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

4. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?

3. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

2. Hey officer is that your nightstick, or are you just glad to see me?

1. What do you use those rubber gloves for, anyway?

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For some reason this reminded me of the time I was sitting in the Fishermans Arms (long ago) listening to a conversation about Venezuelan Sandjinista (did I spell that properly) rebels.

Both parties to the conversation were fairly well oiled but what was enthralling the entire place was that one of them had just about the worst stutter I had ever heard..

Venezuela was bad enough but when they guy got to Sandjinista......

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  • 2 weeks later...

the constipated statistician? worked it out with a computer.....


whats brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG


how many surrealists does it take to plug in a light bulb? A FISH


how do you stop a man from drowning? take your foot off his head


whats black and white and goes OOOOOOO? a cow with no lips


whats red and silver and sits in the corner? a baby with forks in its eyes :oops:

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I think it's a nice comforting image that I've coungered BigMouth.



Sorry again. Procrastination. I have a rather long dull paper to write.

And so you should be with spelling like that. Back of the class boy!




Whats the similarity between a badly spelt essay and a fat latvian snake?


They are both long, pointless and unintelligible.



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