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Any Good Jokes Gyaan Aboot?


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The Queen was in Glasgow and she bumped into Alex Salmond. HMtQ: How nice to see you Mr Salmond. AS: Nice to see you Ma’am. Now, what are we going to call Scotland when we win Independence  How ab

It made me laugh brochbuilder, some folk need to loosen up a bit.

CLASSIC VERSION:   The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.   The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and lau

15 THINGS NOT TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE PULLED BY POLICE!

 

 

 

15. No, YOU assume the position.

14. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

13. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?

12. No, offi, offic, lucifer . . . I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.

11. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110 mph.

10. Back off, Barney, I've got a piece.

9. Want to race to the station, Sparky?

8. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!

7. On the way to the station let's get a six pack.

6. You'll never get those cuffs on me. . . You Homo!

5. Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

4. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?

3. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

2. Hey officer is that your nightstick, or are you just glad to see me?

1. What do you use those rubber gloves for, anyway?

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DRUNK WORDS

 

[

For some reason this reminded me of the time I was sitting in the Fishermans Arms (long ago) listening to a conversation about Venezuelan Sandjinista (did I spell that properly) rebels.

Both parties to the conversation were fairly well oiled but what was enthralling the entire place was that one of them had just about the worst stutter I had ever heard..

Venezuela was bad enough but when they guy got to Sandjinista......

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the constipated statistician? worked it out with a computer.....

 

whats brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG

 

how many surrealists does it take to plug in a light bulb? A FISH

 

how do you stop a man from drowning? take your foot off his head

 

whats black and white and goes OOOOOOO? a cow with no lips

 

whats red and silver and sits in the corner? a baby with forks in its eyes :oops:

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I think it's a nice comforting image that I've coungered BigMouth.

 

 

Sorry again. Procrastination. I have a rather long dull paper to write.

And so you should be with spelling like that. Back of the class boy!

 

"conjured".?

 

Whats the similarity between a badly spelt essay and a fat latvian snake?

 

They are both long, pointless and unintelligible.

 

:P

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