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Does anyone else suffer from social faux pas?

These are some of mine...

1. I was recently asked how I liked where I was living, "It's great but the place could do with a shop again"

Only for her to say that dir house used to be the shop before it was converted.

2. On seeing a guy in the pub with one hell of a shake , I had to say (couldn't stop mesel) "mibby mare drink 'ill mak yon worse". "No" he replied "da drink helps, it's Parkensons dat maks me shake"

 

I ken whar I get it fae... out wan day wee me oldman only to hear him pass on his condolences ta some wife o'r da death o her brother... You ken whits coming! "man he's no dead, he's in a home" :oops: :oops:

 

Does onybody else suffer, mibby der is need for a support group!?

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This fellow I know was really quite awful to his long-term girlfriend and she left him and moved South with her new lover. Upon meeting up with said horrible ex I asked him how she was doing and he said she was still living South with him, they were still together. "Oh how wonderful for her! I'm really pleased for her!". I was genuinely, ignorantly, happy for her. He looked at me in dismay, utterly heartbroken. I think he began to tell me off but I just fled.

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I ran into an ex-collegue in da Co-op one day and was asking her how she was doing as I'd no seen her in a while, "Oh fine, fine" she says. Noticing a brawly round belly (on a normally quite thin girl) I asked when she was due. Her reply - "I'M NOT PREGNANT". My partner, standing next to me, nearly pissed himself laughing. I then skulked off once I'd managed to get my foot firmly out of my mouth!!

 

Note: NEVER EVER ask somebody if they are expecting even if it looks like they are 9 months gone - you might as well say "You're looking brawly fat"!

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Oooooh yeah, did exactly the same thing to a friend of mine and received exactly the same reply - in acid tones,

 

To be fair, she was on the portly side - and the previous two or three times I'd bumped into her she actually was pregnant (Fecund stock y'know) and I'd allowed myself to lapse into thinking it was a permanent state)

 

Still, I'm seldom allowed to forget it.

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Too many. The stunners.

 

I'd just come back fae my mates and met my folks in the pub. I was telling them that one of thier friends had died when the guy next to me asked me if I could repeat the name so I did. It was his Uncle, I was mortified.

 

I was at work one day and my ex came in during lunch. I was really, really busy and not listening 100%, he told me he would have to go sooth as his Grandad had died. I knew that he had been ill for a while. My response "So he didn't get better then?"

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I met Craig Brown the ex Scotland manager at the airport this week, I stupidly said "Hi, your Craig Browm, you were far better than Berti Voughts!" as he hurried away for his flight, I then realised it must be one of the worst compliments of all time! Thinking about it a pile of manure would have been better than Berti!

 

I said to a guy in the Thuley I vaugley knew not long back "look at that ugly fat minger" as a ugly fat lass came in as we had been eyeing up the talent (which was not much use). He then said in a frosty tone that it was his girlfriend coming to meet him and the guy with hims sister! I quickly strangely had to meet someoen at the Lounge! I was mortified!

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we had been eyeing up the talent (which was not much use)

 

Just imagine how even more useless it is if you are eyeing up men. I'm some glad I've got someone (a Soothmoother -gads!) because the well is certainly dry up here. Men in boiler suits of assorted shades. Way-hey.

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Just imagine how even more useless it is if you are eyeing up men.

 

I recall an article in a national newspaper a few years ago which seemed to suggest that Shetland had a particularly high number of eligible bachelors and was, therefore, a desirable place for women to come to find a potential husband.

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Just imagine how even more useless it is if you are eyeing up men.

 

I recall an article in a national newspaper a few years ago which seemed to suggest that Shetland had a particularly high number of eligible bachelors and was, therefore, a desirable place for women to come to find a potential husband.

 

aye, but have you looked at them! There is a reason that they are eligible.

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Just imagine how even more useless it is if you are eyeing up men.

 

I recall an article in a national newspaper a few years ago which seemed to suggest that Shetland had a particularly high number of eligible bachelors and was, therefore, a desirable place for women to come to find a potential husband.

 

IIRC it was 2 men to every woman. It was also about that same time Posers was voted the best nightclub in Britain. Yup, you read that right :wink:

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