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I spoke to Rod Stewart in the toilets at Hampden once. He said "You're pissing on my shoes". (thats not true actually)


I stood on Colin Jackson's foot at Heathrow, thankfully after he retired so he couldn't blame a bumbling Scotsman for ruining his career or anything.


Had a long chat with Chick Young after the Faroes vs Scotland game in 1999.


I was involved in the first legal live webcast of a footie match in the UK.


I've been to Holland once, for 3 hours or so, and I knocked myself out in the airport.

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I once seen an Orcadian eat twenty condoms for a bet.

He said his poop came in little bags for days afterwards.


P.S Before you all run to the jonny cupboard, I best add he also got hellish gut cramps and ended up in hospital where the doctor said he would slap him if he seen him again that weekend.

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I once sold Ice-T and his entourage three cokes in a seafood restaraunt in Melbourne - the total of of our conversation?


'Yo - three cokes!'


'Yes Sir!'




I also sold a couple of pints to the actor who played 'Glendarroch' in 'Take the high road' in a go-go bar in Edinburgh's West Port. He was incredibly unembarrased at being recognised, even in a ropey village like Bridey's. Sound chap

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  • 4 weeks later...

:oops: I wance spewed ower Peerie Brian in Flints :oops:


Idder as dat, I hae a peerie pairt athin a film "Have No Fear", aboot da life o' da Pope. A'm his maths teacher whin he's joost a ting a bairn.


Onywye am spangin' ower tae da a'm drunk treed as it seems apt, bit no afore a'm been at da word o' da day een. I tink at spang deserves a mention!

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I am actually the curator of a small but interesting collection of two cardboard baggage tags which were once in the possession of Bertrand Russell. One is yellow, and reads "Russell, 29 Millbank, S.W.1, 1st Floor", the other is a BEA one from flying back to London, simply saying "Passenger's Name: Russell". I also share his birthday.

Please form an orderly queue!

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Brush with the famous...


I once served Robbie Williams in a pizzaria. He opted for the 'Pollo Salad' as he seemed tickled by the fact that it contained 'Chicken breast'. After listening to his purile comments about chicken breasts I informed him that it used to be worded as 'chicken tits' but we had to change it as the giggling children upset other customers. Was a pretty cool guy though.


Also served Christian Slater in the same restaurant during the Edinburgh festival. After a bit of banter he invited me to join him at the table and then invited me to his birthday bash in the assembly rooms on 18th August. I declined the invite as it was the same day as my son's birthday, which he thought was F*******awesome.

Wish I'd gone. Read in the papers that he got hammered, molested a waitress and tried to trash the function room.


I can eat 3 dry balty biscuits in a minute.

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An extremely embarrassing number of moons ago I had my photo printed in The Press & Journal sitting next to the Queen.


Somewhere in the dusty archives of either the BBC or ITV there may lurk a piece of film containing a feature on Shetland Ponies, and of them being raced, part of which was filmed on a sandy beach. Someplace during that beach part the peace and quiet is shattered by the sound of a kinda noisy motorbike going hammering past not too far away....that noisy beggar was me. :oops:

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i was on duty at the Touring cars at Thruxton a few years ago and someone lost a rear bumper which was left in the middle of the track


I did the run across the track to drag it out the way


in front of a very large cheering crowd and the tv cameras ....... all of them were hoping i'd fall rs over t1t in the middle :roll:


got a mention in the commentary and the camera followed me all the way ...... sooooo glad i didn't trip - the cars were approaching at about 140mph 8)

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