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Here are 12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on

British TV and radio:




1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from

Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"




2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl

Gibson comes inside of him."




3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely

horse. I once rode her mother."




4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't

that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the

Oxford crew."




5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is

playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his

balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??"




6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team

Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."




7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have

snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's

that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to

leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so





8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better

today after a 69 yesterday.">




9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:

"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like





10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen

Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."




11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male

astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They

seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in

his shorts."




12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny

Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to

use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

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I was once talking to a fiend who worked in a video store, she was serving a line of customers and during out staggered conversation she said to me, "Yes, it was so bit I couldn't believe i had it in my mouth." The reason was she had had a lip ring removed that morning!

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