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Annoying but trivial things - Room 101 stuff


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I can't take it any more! Hence the reason for seeking out this ancient tome of wisdom. Anyroad, here goes...   Folk looking to flog their stuff in the classifieds (Facebook too) who stick the price a

What i find annoying is, When the public toilets close at 12 at the cross and the pubs close at 1 and drunk people start spilling into the cross and get in trouble for peeing up lanes? If the toilet

I have millions of these, dad thinks there is something wrong we me.

1. People eating loudly.

2. Bread cut squintly.

3. A nice new thing of butter thats been dug intae deeply with the knife.

4. A saucer with the ring bit fir the cup off-centre.

5. Folk speaking over something I want tae hear

6. Folk pleepsin' aboot something trivial

7. All yin "Mmmmmm" soonds, and words like "delicious" while I'm tryin tae eat!

 

Feeeeeeooooooooooooof, thank christ I got yin aff my chest,

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I have millions of these, dad thinks there is something wrong we me.

1. People eating loudly.

2. Bread cut squintly.

3. A nice new thing of butter thats been dug intae deeply with the knife.

4. A saucer with the ring bit fir the cup off-centre.

5. Folk speaking over something I want tae hear

6. Folk pleepsin' aboot something trivial

7. All yin "Mmmmmm" soonds, and words like "delicious" while I'm tryin tae eat!

 

Feeeeeeooooooooooooof, thank christ I got yin aff my chest,

 

Dad may be right :wink:

You need some help, and i'm here to provide it.Thus:

1. Wear ear defenders at mealtimes

2. Buy sliced loaf, the machines are seldom wrong.

3. Buy tubs of butter and confront your demons every pack! Aversion therapy

4. Where do you buy your crockery exactly :? Ditch the saucer...go on ...DO IT!

5. Shut up while i'm interrupting

6. People in glass houses......should grow tomatoes cos they always taste betterwhen you grow em yourself

7. As you are already wearing ear defenders, the only further protection against this one is to take everyone you know to visit the auld wife who lives down the road from you to eat hot soup, then never again will anyone know what it is to experience delicious or mmm, maybe ouch is just as bad though

Hope that helps :?

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^ ^ ^ ^

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I lik yin, although your meant tae stick up fir me since my dad dusna keen very much aboot how tae use Shetlink.

 

Your meant tae say "Oh, god PoolHaddock, You have it sooooooo hard. I'm just sorry I can't be there for you, and butter you up, and s..."

Sorry, went off on a tangent there. :oops:

 

I bake my own bread in a breadmaker, and my peerie sister is the worst squint-breader, so I suppose I could stick her on eBay or something. And I can lip read. You get yin skew-wheef saucers in yin Costa coffee place, so when you scream and break the plates, you get chucked oot, and you always keen in the back of your mind that they have plenty more. It's usually on the wireless when somebody speaks ower sumtheen, so I canna rewind it.

I'm as confuzled as a baby racoon about dy number 6 (I'm no clever enough tae understand aa yin fancy modern sayins) So I just thought I wid make up my own saying in response that sounds intelligent:

"You canna spear a bire goat wee a half eatin bannock"

 

Da buggers wid likely still mak yin "mmmmmm" soonds if dey wir eatin' oxter scrappins fae a muckle half lobster half man.

 

I hope du understands why dy solutions dunna work on me? :wink: :lol:

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I hope du understands why dy solutions dunna work on me? :wink: :lol:

 

I do indeed, in fact there's more chance of a three legged cat burying a turtle in a frozen lake than there is of me finding a solution for you my friend, poor old poolhaddock, whit a hard life do must lead.

 

I bet do looks for new cracks in the pavement each time do leaves home :wink:

 

And squeaky doors must drive dee nuts :)

 

Anyhoo, here's anidder one:

 

Close family members persistently asking you what you want for your birthday! It takes all the fun oot o' it. You never ken what price range is appropriate either, so you have to ask them, further destroying all the charm, mystery and surprise that present giving is supposed to hold :(

 

What do i want for my birthday you ask? Well, lets start with a small tropical island, and my own pet dodo, world peace and a seat on the united nations, a motorbike that flies..........

 

Bah humbug! :evil:

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Cooking a Sunday roast for 4 people, and then before you get a chance to sit down, ALL the crispy bacon off of the roast chicken being snaffled by everyone else.

AAaargh! Basta...!!

 

Hard to enjoy dinner through gritted teeth and snarling lips :evil:

 

Murder was nearly done this day........

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With you on the bank hatred. They are, without exception, my biggest pet hate.

 

12p overdrawn? That'll be a £20 fine. Oops! you've got a direct debit that's come out 10 mins before your pay comes in -that's a £20 fine. Here's a letter to tell you about it. That's £20. Oh look! our charges have put you overdrawn! that's means a charge, plus the charge for not having enough funds in your account to cover the charge - that means another charge!!

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I hate it when really good tv programmes get cancelled so they can show sport instead. :evil: I also hate seeing people standing on the street smoking and spitting alternately. Seems to be mainly a teenage boy thing. It's the overly spitting that upsets me the most. Why the hell do they do it? :? :evil:

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I absolutely hate it when somebody patronises me - you know, when people talk down to you. Sorry, couldn't help it :wink:

 

I have a million and one hates, they will slowly appear.

 

Although I did prefer when the word 'Panini' conjured images of doing swops for fitba stickers, e.g Glenn Hoddle (had millions) for Paul McGrath (rare), instead of a Subway Soopa Whoopa Teriyaki Chicken with peppers, onions, olives (optional) £2.99 with a diet coke please thank you very much.

 

There endeth todays rant

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pointless signs are a pet peeve. i once saw one in a shop that said "shoplifing: think about it" so i did. brilliant idea, that'll be much cheaper, thanks.

 

well, i didn't really, but i thought about it. just like the sign said. it may have had a picture of some guy in handcuffs or something too, not really sure what they were trying to say. i believe i gleaned all the important information from my initial observation...

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