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Yowe,

 

I am a member of the underground organisation S.H.E.E.P - Sisterhood Helping Ewes Escape Prostitution (and Persecution). I have been tailing Njugle and Trout for months. We have reason to believe they are wool traders posing as men who desire a loving relationship with fine Yowe's like yowerself, they have left a trail of broken hearts and bashed udders behind them. I am concerned for the safety of yowerself and yower unborn caddies. The marts is not..i repeat not a health spa. It is a place of great cruelty where yowe'll be shipped south, split from yower baa-bies and sold into the wool trade. The fate which faces yower young...we will not go into here. Flee to the upper park of the nearest hill and await my signal....yowe will be rescyowed. I don't have much time.........until yowe hear from me again...stay yowe safe.

 

oh dear goodness...i cant believe i just wrote that! :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

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Ah yes, "teenie", we meet again. My dear sweet Yowe, i must inform you that Teenie is indeed not very teenie and is actually called Russell, Russell Dabeasts. He comes from Yell, i might add, another one. Known throughout crofting circles for his exploits in ewe-y misdirection. "Run! Run! Away from your homes and loved ones and straight into the back of my truck!" What happens after that, I shall not say.It's too baarbaric. He sells rugs though, i ken that much.S.H.E.E.P.? Ha! T.H.E.E.F.F. (Traders hoo exploit ewe's for funds) More like.

 

But, to be fair, the Marts is not really much of a health spa. Think of it more like a careers convention, and i can assure ewe our offspring will be nowhere near there until they are old enough, and even then only if ewe agree. I only want the best for Yowe and the peerie lambs. By the way, Your big belly looks great, and those swollen udders......wow!

 

Now, how about that hoof rub, are ewe warm enough? I brought you some special tang and waar fae da beach for a treat :) xxx

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But, to be fair, the Marts is not really much of a health spa. Think of it more like a careers convention

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Or maybe it's kinda like a Job Centre and everyone will end up being offered a "Ewe Deal" after being on the brew for six months.

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Njugle, perhaps we should meet under the arch enemies section of this forum!!!

 

I lie not, and as for being "Russell" the only thing that is distinctly "russell" like about me is that i have "Russelled the ruse of your self as yowe lover eggstrodinare".

 

Yowe, i state again, we can hide you and keep your caddies safe....Njugle, is that a filleting knife i see in your pocket or are yowe just pleased to see me...what plans have you for those caddies? Wouldna be anything to do with the bulk order for mint saace Grays tells me is being delivered to you....?

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Oh I'm so conf-ewe-sd! I don't know who to trust. Teenie, you sound so sincere and flossie and some of the others are really starting to believe your claims but I just can't believe that my njugle would betray me so horribly. He's a gentleman you know (well, actually he's a water horse of sorts but his charms far exceed most). As for trout, well he is perhaps a little slippery but he can really flap about on the dance floor. All this worry is not at all good for me in my condition so I'm off to a quiet corner of the park to enjoy some of the tang and waar that njugle so thoughtfully brought me. By the way njugle, thanks for the nice comments about my big belly and swollen udders. Oh, and you give a great hoof massage :wink: Xxx

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"Yowe know it's true,

Everything i do,

I do it for Yowe"

 

And ask yourself this my sweet, all that feed, all those nuts, all the good times, and then this teenie suddenly shows up wanting to spirit ewe off straight away? Merely an opportewenist, my dear. And to prove it, i say go if ewe want to. Roam if Yowe want to, roam around the world. I'll slip the tether. It's up to Yowe.:( xxxx

 

 

Teenie?

 

Teenie, teenie, what a meanie,

Put away your butchers peenie,

Perrie Yowe's not bred for muscle,

Find some other beast to rustle.

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Oh Njugle Njugle, you watery beast

Stomp dye hoofs and gnash dye teeth

Dirs nowt i can do, to persuade peerie yowe

That shes safer we me, in a refuge in mos-cow

 

A slippery game, du dus weel play

All i can do, is get doon on me knees an pray

That shu'll be protected, by da yowes i da park

Dey'll suss dee oot, as a great white shark

 

Du sharpen dye knife, and smeeg aa du wants

As du licks dee lips, sinks dee teeth ita her flanks

I bow before yower, superior "wit"

But du canna change me mind, du's a suspicious...critter.

 

S.H.E.E.P headquarters over an out. :roll:

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"Yowe know it's true,

Everything i do,

I do it for Yowe"

 

And ask yourself this my sweet, all that feed, all those nuts, all the good times, and then this teenie suddenly shows up wanting to spirit ewe off straight away? Merely an opportewenist, my dear. And to prove it, i say go if ewe want to. Roam if Yowe want to, roam around the world. I'll slip the tether. It's up to Yowe.:( xxxx

 

My minds made up, I'm sticking with you.(I rather enjoy your leather tether... :wink: ) Alas, most of the other yowes are turning against me now but it's probably just the hormones talking and I hope things will calm down after lambing.

Someones been shooting rabbits in the park next door and there are alot of baggies about. Maybe you could get back in the good books with the other yowes if you popped a few off :?:

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  • 2 weeks later...

^Lass yuns just taen years aff me life! I'm still shakin'.^

 

To occewepy my frazzled nerves i've been knitting peerie jackets for the other ewe's offspring, i saw some lambs wearing jackets in a park in Tingwall and apart from keeping them warm, they look quite dapper.

 

For our own little bundles of joy i've commisioned some extra special jackets.

 

They're designed by Gewecci and Dolce and Gabaana. I think you'll like them. :) x

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I'd have thought that this would be more appropriate attire:

 

Ingredients:

 

1 cup honey

1/2 cup dry white wine

4 tablespoons minced fresh mint

salt and pepper, to taste

 

 

Directions:

 

Combine honey, wine and mint; mix well. Season cut side of boned lamb with salt and pepper, then spread with honey mixture; roll and tie lamb. Brush outer surface with honey mixture. Roast on rack in shallow baking pan at 325[F 1 to 1-1/2 hours or to 160[F on meat thermometer for medium doneness. Baste every 15 minutes. Let stand 10 to 15 minutes before slicing.

 

maybe give them a month or two.....

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I'd have thought that this would be more appropriate attire:

 

Ingredients:

 

1 cup honey

1/2 cup dry white wine

4 tablespoons minced fresh mint

salt and pepper, to taste

 

 

Directions:

 

Combine honey, wine and mint; mix well. Season cut side of boned lamb with salt and pepper, then spread with honey mixture; roll and tie lamb. Brush outer surface with honey mixture. Roast on rack in shallow baking pan at 325[F 1 to 1-1/2 hours or to 160[F on meat thermometer for medium doneness. Baste every 15 minutes. Let stand 10 to 15 minutes before slicing.

 

maybe give them a month or two.....

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

It's what every stylish young lamb is wearing this season.

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I would like to announce the safe and slimy arrival of two fine shetland gimmers. Njugle, I'm sorry you weren't there! It all happened so fast there was no time to send for you. It was a park birth like I wanted and the weather was fine and luckily I didn't need any human help. We're in the corner of the east park for now so come and see your un-horselike offspring soon. XXXX p.s. I could really go a bucket of nuts. :wink: :D X

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