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Dolphin Trainers Wanted


GeorgeK
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Most of you who may not know me, i am a Fully Qualified Professional Dolphin Trainer. I worked in Florida for a few years and have recently moved to the Shetlands with my wife who is Orcadian.

 

I am looking into starting my own business. Shetland Dolphin Pool Ltd.

My aim is to have a small aquarium.

This has been a great wind up. GK.

Loved it. Was so simple too!

A professional dolphin trainer wouldn't use such bad spelling if promoting one's self and business.

You also didn't list your Zoological degree after your name?

You would of had to have it if you have worked with Cetaceans on a professional basis?

Referring to one's wife as Orcadian.. The word Orca springs to mind..

You worked in Florida... Hmm...

As for the small aquarium... What a goldfish tank?

You also never mentioned what kind of dolphins you were going to keep?

At least you have caused a stupid worthless debate on Shetlink!!

Made me laugh :D

 

Good gag..... You got a

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Who is going to feed me when my hands get bit off by a dolphin...our children.

 

Fae the Mareel thread

 

best windup on Shetlink for a long time, if not ever! haha

 

This George fellow mentioned this first on a fitba related thread and I burst oot laughing when I read it!

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[*** Thread moved to appropriate section***]

 

Hey Folks.

 

I have been in a meeting with the Shetland Development Trust and they did seem quite keen on the Dolphin Pool to go ahead. We are thinking to be based in Unst. A business plan is being worked on as we speak. So more information still to come.

 

If there is anybody out there who is keen to be involved please do get in touch. gkippets@gmail.com

 

EM, i think you would make a great trainer, and employee. If that doesn't work out i'm sure we could get you on Maintenance or even working in the cafe or gift shop.

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Perhaps I could be of assistance? When the dolphins die of injury neglect or just down right boredom I could maybe get the carcasses and sell them as Flipper Burgers at the next Shetland food festival, well its local produce for local people isn't it.....

 

That could possibly work in. I'll make a note of that in the business plan. We do need bakers. Would you by any chance know how to make a simple sponge cake with a iced dolphin on top?

 

The burgers can come at a later date.

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Perhaps I could be of assistance? When the dolphins die of injury neglect or just down right boredom I could maybe get the carcasses and sell them as Flipper Burgers at the next Shetland food festival, well its local produce for local people isn't it.....

 

That could possibly work in. I'll make a note of that in the business plan. We do need bakers. Would you by any chance know how to make a simple sponge cake with a iced dolphin on top?

 

The burgers can come at a later date.

 

I have tried this before but find that Flipper when frozen in ice doesn't go well with sponge cake, gets all soggy...

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Perhaps I could be of assistance? When the dolphins die of injury neglect or just down right boredom I could maybe get the carcasses and sell them as Flipper Burgers at the next Shetland food festival, well its local produce for local people isn't it.....

 

That could possibly work in. I'll make a note of that in the business plan. We do need bakers. Would you by any chance know how to make a simple sponge cake with a iced dolphin on top?

 

The burgers can come at a later date.

 

I have tried this before but find that Flipper when frozen in ice doesn't go well with sponge cake, gets all soggy...

 

I'm sorry madam but i don't think you would be suitable for the position.

Thank you for your interest, if we need a baker in the future i'll be sure to let you know.

 

Kind Regards

 

George Kippets (Professional Dolphin Trainer)

 

Shetland Dolphin Pool Ltd.

gkippets@gmail.com

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EM, i think you would make a great trainer, and employee.

I am wondering which of my attributes you consider make me so appropriate for this skilled position? Presumably not my swimming ability, which is minimal at best.

 

... Flipper Burgers ... local produce for local people isn't it.....

It is quite interesting that apparently very few Icelanders actually eat whale, with the majority of restaurant whale servings being ordered by tourists. The extreme toxicity of the flesh being part of the reason.

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I am thinking about starting up a new business offering day trips to the moon. I have already trained my cow to jump onto the moon, instead of over it, so i am half way there.

 

All i need is someone to write up my business plan, the council to throw money at the venture and i am laughing all the way to the bank.

 

Perhaps you could let me know who is doing your business plan, they must be truly gifted if they have managed to get your proposal off the ground.

 

I was also thinking of starting my venture in Unst as it is further North, and therefore closer to the moon.

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I am thinking about starting up a new business offering day trips to the moon. I have already trained my cow to jump onto the moon, instead of over it, so i am half way there.

 

All i need is someone to write up my business plan, the council to throw money at the venture and i am laughing all the way to the bank.

 

Perhaps you could let me know who is doing your business plan, they must be truly gifted if they have managed to get your proposal off the ground.

 

I was also thinking of starting my venture in Unst as it is further North, and therefore closer to the moon

 

Now if you need a fondue chef give me a shout plenty of cheese on the moon !!!

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I would suggest basing the venture in Elvis Voe, then they can be taken on little walks to the nearby Bressay bridge where they can perform as a tourist attraction by jumping back and forth over it, maybe even several jumping it together.

 

The Nort Mooth isn't for any other use anyway, and it'll be a nice distraction to help the tourists forget about the hundred odd windmills they've seen from ever conceivable angle.

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