Treatment of my disabled son and our family at the garrison

[petermac35]

[***Mod edit - moved topic to more relevant category***]

 

I would like to make the public aware of the actions of the Garrison theatre staff, while my family watched a screening at the Garrison on Sat 20th August. While watching the movie my son made some noise, nothing unusual for a child of 3 years old while at the cinema. We were then asked to leave by [***mod edit - name removed***] as my son was making too much noise in her opinion. As my son suffers from learning disabilities. I want him to feel involved and empowered to be welcome to any event. I made the ticket office aware of that fact when purchasing the tickets I feel disgusted ,let down and very, very disappointed by the lack off understanding by the staff and feel deprived of giving my son the chance to lead as normal a life, and as dignified as we can give him. We feel we must air our views as the public need to know that this still goes on in this day and age and we are supposed to be a nation who understands disability!

 

Peter Mckay & Sarah Tungatt.

[bug]

Surely by being asked to leave due to being judged too noisy is treating your child exactly the same as any other 3 year old would be treated so helping you achieve the normal a life you desire - the alternative would be positive discrimination rather than the norm?

[Henry]

I have to agree with Bug. Lots of people had probably paid good money to watch the show so staff had to consider the greater number and if there was too much noise, asked you to leave. Maybe not good for you and your family but rather understandable. I don't expect there was any idea of discrimination, merely thinking of the larger picture!

[petermac35]

Your points of views are disappointing, because as much as I understand that you may think it's fair to treat people all the same, I am of the opinion that some people should be treated as individuals.

 

I don't know how to think about positive discrimination? Surely any discrimination is negative?

 

I paid the same money as anyone else, and there were other children who were just as noisy. I feel we have the same rights to be there as anybody.

 

I would like my son to have the chances and dignity to live a full life, and be treated as a unique person.

[Piddly]

I also have to agree with Bug and Henry, normalisation!!!

 

I'm sure the lady in question wouldn't have taken that decision lightly, you as a parent have to take responsibility and consideration for those around you who have paid good money to watch the film also.

 

I'm not sure how much understanding a 3yr old would have watching a Harry Potter film anyway!!!!

 

The staff at the Garrison, in my experience are nothing but curtious and helpful, it's a shame you've felt the need to come on here and publicly name and slate someone for doing their job.

 

Cheers

[Staney Dale]

I'd never have taken my kids to the cinema when they were three. It's far too young to understand about sitting quietly all through a film - which is what you're meant to do in a cinema. It reflects badly on you that you put staff in an awkward situation, and not content with that come on here to 'name and shame' a member of staff who was only doing her job.

[daveh]

I also agree with the views of Bug, Henry, Piddly and Staney Dale.

To take any child of just 3 years old to a cinema is too much of a gamble as regards expecting him/her to sit through the performance quietly. I, along with the vast majority of patrons, would be most annoyed to have a child making a noise during the film and spoiling it for us. It is totally irrelevant whether or not the child has learning difficulties or otherwise.

If you are looking for sympathy for any perceived discrimination then I feel that you won't find many agreeing with you that it was discrimination at all.

Of course, the vast majority would be sympathetic as regards your child's problems but that is another issue.

Personally, I have always found the staff at the Garrison to be most courteous and professional in the way that they go about their business.

[trowie246]

I didn't even take my 3 year old to see the panto that year because at that age she couldn't concentrate on anything for more than 2 minutes and I knew her inevitable fidgeting, up off the seat, on the floor and general noisiness would annoy other people. I would never have dreamed of taking her to see a film never mind Harry Potter (if that is what it was).

[shetlandpeat]

 

I paid the same money as anyone else, and there were other children who were just as noisy. I feel we have the same rights to be there as anybody.

 

I would like my son to have the chances and dignity to live a full life, and be treated as a unique person.

 

I am sure your son will get those chances when they come with parents who just want the best for their child. Life can be a little frustrating.

 

You and your son may experience far worse types of discrimination. My Dad was an usher at the Garrison a few years back. They did have guidelines to work within. I hope you were not discriminated against.

 

The Garrison is part of Isleburgh?

 

http://www.shetland.gov.uk/community/ContactUs.asp

 

It must be tricky to balance what is right and what is not. It must feel you are the only ones who care.

 

Good luck.

[snow]

I am very dismayed to read about your experience. I too have a son who has Special Needs and I have never come accross any type of discrimination anywhere in Shetland.On the contrary I came here from down south and my son was subjected to all kinds of dicrimination ranging from outright ignoring him to some who used verbal abuse to him.

We have never been sujected to anything but kindness and understanding by Shetland folk. I do understand your need to have your child brought up to experience all that is good in life and I am sure that you will meet many people who will treat your child in the same way all other children are treated..Sheltand is one of the few places I have lived that is acceptable of our childrens dissabilities and provides a vast range of support and care. Children at your childs age ( Special Needs)or not dont usually want to sit through a movie as sitting for long periods of time is boring no matter what the content of the film....Please give the Garrison staff the benefit of the doubt when it came to making what must have been a very difficult decision...

[EM]

... as much as I understand that you may think it's fair to treat people all the same, I am of the opinion that some people should be treated as individuals.

I really can't work out what you mean by this, or how it relates to your grievance. I would have thought everyone, not just some, should be treated as individuals, as well as being members of society at large. What am I missing?

[zebedee]

My daughter was once told to either be quiet or leave the garrison while watching a film. I thought it entirely reasonable - as a cinema-goer myself, it's damned annoying when others spoil the film. Yes she'd paid the ticket price - but so had everyone else there and they weren't spoiling the film for everyone else. It seems to me that she was treated as a noisy individual, as was your son. As has been mentioned, maybe take him when he's a little older and able to sit through a film. As an aside, when I lived south I had a good friend with tourettes. He always waited for the films to come out on video (no DVDs then!) because he was considerate to the other people in the cinema. The funny thing was when he watched a film he very rarely said anything, but he didn't want to risk it.

[Ghostrider]

Sorry, but I'm with everyone else whose commented. I cannot comprehend why you, or anyone else who was there with pre-school childern, disabled or otherwise, could conclude that a trip to a cinema was a suitable and appropriate activity to include them in. If nothing else, you do realise (remember yourself??) that at that age, any child's vision may or may not still be comparable to that of older children/adults, and depending on where exactly you were sitting, your child may or may not have been able to actually see clearly enough to understand it what was being depicted on the screen. Even if their vision was adequate, a child of three's mental capacity and attention span simply cannot be expected to follow and appreciate a full lenght film. Really, at that age, IMHO a 10 minute cartoon on TV is about the maximum that should realistically be expected to be entertaining and beneficial to them.

 

If any criticism is valid of any staff surrounding the event, is that having informed whoever was accepting bookings that you intended your toddler to accompany you, they didn't strongly advise you against doing so, on account of the unsuitability of the event for a pre-school child.

[peerie t]

If it was Harry Potter you went to see, why would you take a 3 year old in the first place? It's rated as a 12A for a reason. I have a 3 year old child, I wouldn't DREAM of taking them to see a film of that rating. Making a lot of noise is par for the course with a child that age - disabled or not, but i would certainly expect the same thing to happen to me if I was stupid enough to take my child to a film like that. I'm 100% positive that if it was a toddler appropriate film, the staff would have been more understanding of any noise being made.

Was there any other toddlers in the audience?!!

 

Positive discrimination is favouring someone purely on merit of their disability/race, it isn't a good thing. It would lead to just what you do not want for your son.

 

I would like to see everyone treated as equals, but I do not want to live in an Orwellian situation where some are more equal than others.

[Bluemire]

I have lived with a brother with special needs all my life and i have to agree with Sarah and Peter in most aspects. Clearly they are hurting because of the experience they had, i am sure that they feel the exact same way i do right now with thinking people are discriminating against their son. Some situations their son is put in will be good experiences and he will be excepted, i understand they want him to be treated the exact same because we are like that with my brother. I can honestly say i have been to the garrison a few times and there are always children there who make noise and hold a carry on but in my time there has been nobody else asked to leave so i can understand why they feel they were picked from the bunch. Sadly they will probably feel like this throughout his life and it is unfair to have to worry about where you are taking your child and what other people say, they were probably really embarrassed about the whole thing. I think for all the people who have commented on this you need to put yourselves in their shoes and consider their feelings, obviously things are difficult for them and they are trying to give their son every chance in the world and not being able to go see a film with him is in my opinion unfair. Guys getting it on DVD will probably be more entertaining anyway cause you can get popcorn and have as many toilet stops as you want! Don't let this experience ruin things in the future!!!