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My Mam told me that coconuts are bear's eggs. Is this true?


Are coconuts bear's eggs  

22 members have voted

  1. 1. Are coconuts bear's eggs

    • Yes
      17
    • No
      5


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It is indeed true. The coconuts we buy from shops are in fact bears eggs which are stolen along with porridge while the bears are out catching fish or walking in the forest. Collecting bears eggs is a well paid job due to the risk of being caught and punished. I worked a full season as a collector and it was character building stuff I can tell you.

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Concerned readers of this sensitive forum may be shocked to hear that in certain cultures it is still commonplace to set up bears eggs on stands and throw solid wooden balls at them, just for the sheer abusive fun of it. I'm led to believe that they even award prizes for knocking them to the ground.

 

To see a permanent end to this barbaric practise please contact me privately with donations, or visit

 

www.bearfaced.bankofscotland.bz

 

using "njugle's account" as login and 'sucker' as password

 

Don't let this butchery go on another day.

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  • 4 weeks later...

This bear walks into a bar. Then he sits down and orders a beer.

The bartender, amazed that this bear can actually talk, gives him a beer.

 

The bear says, "What do I owe you?"

 

The bartender stops and thinks for a moment.

 

"Even though this bear is smart," thinks the bartender, "he probably hasn’t been in many bars."

 

So the bartender says, "That'll be ten quid."

 

The bear forks over the money and starts drinking his beer.

 

After a few minutes, the bartender can't restrain his curiosity, so he walks back over to the bear and tries to strike up a conversation.

 

"You know, we don't get many bears in this bar."

 

The bear looks up from his beer and says, "Well, at ten quid a beer, I'm not surprised."

 

 

Ah'll get my coat!!!

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A panda bear walks into a bar, and tells the bartender that he wants to have lunch. The bartender gives him a menu and he orders.

 

The panda bear eats his lunch, and when he finishes, he gets up to leave. Suddenly, the panda bear pulls an AK-47 out of his fur, and shoots the bar to pieces. He then heads for the door.

 

The shocked bartender jumps out from behind the destroyed bar and yells, "Hey, what do you think you're doing? You ate lunch, shot up my bar, and now you're just going to leave?"

 

The panda bear answers calmlly, "I'm a panda bear." The bartender says, "Yeah, so?" The panda bear replies, "Look it up," and walks out the door.

 

The bartender jumps back behind the ruined bar and grabs his encyclopedia. He looks up "panda bear," and sure enough, there is a picture of the panda bear.

 

He reads the caption, which says, "Panda Bear--a cuddly, black and white creature. Eats shoots and leaves."

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  • 3 weeks later...
can you buy bears dat will lay everyday joost lik hens?

 

i think for that you'd need a barn full of battery bears in cages. unless you fancy letting them roam free in a field?

 

[father dougal mode]actually yes, let them roam free in a field, i don't foresee any problems whatsoever with this idea. [/father dougal mode]

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