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Unst. Miserable


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Can anyone tell me why the people of Unst are so miserable and unfriendly?

Is it because they don't have a lot of social interaction ?

Is it something in the water?

Do they not like other people?

Or are they just miserable and unfriendly for the sake of it.

Btw I'm not running them down as I'm sure there must be at least one person in Unst who smiles and I must have missed them. It's a genuine question so please don't take offense.

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I heard a wee story regarding folk up in Unst. They are known to get supposedly unhappy, angy even, when they have to put up with the uneducated who are employed by the S. I.C. That's how the story went, anyway. If I ever hear who wrote it or told it first, I'll let you all know about it.


Of course, perhaps it's perhaps got something to do with the new collection of rubbish. Word is going about that it'll get blown all over Unst, probably all the islands but perhaps it's just rubbish.


Or garbage.


Or waste.


Or maybe domestic refuse.


Or perhaps even pollution of the mind. After all, it gets spread around a lot, by those and such as those.

Edited by George.
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Guest Fetlar Writer


Lastly, following two decades of exposure to the noise pollution of oil traffic they suffer from P.F.T., a Pitch Fluctuating variant of Tinnitus which rings like a constant National Anthem of 'God Save the Queen' in their ears giving them an aloofness and reverent countenance that could be misinterpreted as a dismissive stiffness of character.




 Hahahaaa!! :rofl: P.F.T. is also suffered on the island of Fetlar, it was rumoured that we no longer have our 'island promoter' working (and I say 'working' with much humour) for an unusually large sum of money for doing f##k all. I'm presuming this island condition sprang up from the sudden loss of the said person's 'inflation' of one's abilities not being broadcast by the winged critters of the island - we will all sleep sounder at night, and hum this song throughout the day: 

"U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer

I told you homeboy (You can't touch this)

Yeah, that's how we livin' and ya know (You can't touch this)

Look in my eyes, man (You can't touch this)

Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics (You can't touch this)


But somehow, I know it's not over (my emphasis)  :???: 

Edited by Fetlar Writer
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On behalf of our local cormorant community, I should assert that cormorants have Rights too. Eating of non-consenting cormorants is clearly a serious abuse of the appropriate legislation.


Further, salting them is surely a further outrage. Don't the inhabitants of Unst know that salt is bad for their health and soon to be made illegal?


I propose the missing PC be replaced by a new enhanced official position of Cormorant Rights Commissar to monitor these abuses.. This would have the added advantage of boosting the Unst economy by adding to employment opportunities .It would also bring high speed broadband to Unst as the new post would require proper communications with HQ in Lerwick. (Unfortunately this facility would not be available to civilians, i.e. the rest of us).

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Its all the SIC's fault. It used to be your average Unst resident just had to decide they were from neither Yell or Fetlar, which came pretty naturally to the average Unst person. But since Whalsay and Skerries has been lumped in as well the identity crisis has deepened gravely leading to some folk getting all depressed and miserable.


Its a malady thats spreading, I was just hearing the other day somebody in Yell was on the horns of a dilemma thinking they might actually be from Whalsay, and another one who seemed to think they could be from Unst.


It can only get worse, some folk in Quarff will think they're fron the Ness, and some in Whiteness will think they're from Waas, until we're all as miserable as sin. Cooncil just can leave nothing alone can they, and then they expect us to pick up the pieces like it was all okay......;)

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look in the mirror and ask, is it me,  or is it everyone else?


Don't look in mirrors - I won't anymore.


Last few times I tried it, there was this plug ugly old bar steward I didn't know who always looked back at me..... I think I'd prefer to have discovered I had no reflection than seen that thing.

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