BGDDisco

Why is every gender equality officer in a company female? Because it is cheaper

I know some small boats who did quite well this year from the mackerel season, and I believe the unused quota was divvied up among the boats that actually went out after the mackerel, to extend their 'season'. Also, line-caught mackerel attracts a much higher price than the hoovered up trawl catch, adding to the value to the small boats. It might seem unfair that the super-trawlers get the lions share of the quota, but the vast majority of the fishing they do is way beyond the working range of the small boats, and the forefathers of the big boat crews worked bloody hard to get where they are. You can catch mackerel with a beach-caster off the shore, and small boats can get to places the big boats could never chance going, I think there is enough to go round, and make a good living for everyone, and lots of opportunity for lots more small boats - might even get one myself.

LibreOffice Writer opens pdf documents and appears to let me edit them, I've also used it to create 'Word' style documents and save them as pdf too.

Read this with interest. It's a "no-brainer" to me. https://www.shetnews.co.uk/2018/11/05/the-case-for-fixed-links/ Think how many other services could be helped by the savings made ....

I think they turn the AIS off to hide from each other, not giving away a good fishing mark to the competition. Fishermen are all good friends on the surface, but it's still a dog-eat-dog business.

I've heard lots of stories about the Cruise Ship tourists doing a lot of window shopping but rarely actually buying anything. I wonder if it's because they are simply not wanting to weigh themselves down with piles of souvenirs, that they'll have to cart around the rest of their trip. I'm sure they see many items that would be a lovely souvenir but think twice before buying, working out the logistics of packing the item in with the two weeks of clothes etc they have. Bear in mind most have flown in to the Port they left from, so baggage restrictions apply. I dreamt up a possible solution. Imagine a craft fair crossed with Argos. A shop full of examples of the souvenirs, but none ever leave the place, instead purchases can be made (completely cashlessly), shipping details taken, items are sent in the post, and by the time the tourist has got home the souvenir is waiting in their doormat. I believe some Street shops will offer this as an alternative to over-the-counter cash sales. Could there be a place on the Street for an Argos-style local-artisan outlet? Also would make a great shop-front for the many talented Shetland makers/artists.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Had to work it out with a pencil.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None. {too soon?}

I mind, while workin away in London blurtin oot: "Man, du's as bald as a neep!" The few who could quickly translate it all fell aboot gaffin. I didna tink it was dat funny, or unusual to say.

CAN ADMINS OF THIS FORUM DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, A WOMAN. SHE’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.

Last meal out we had was The Mid Brae Inn, and it was as good as I remember it when I ate there regularly. Highly recommended.

I saw a recipe for dandelion flower honey. Looked like an awful lot of work for tiny amount of 'honey', but it would kill two birds with one stone and could be made into a mead I reckon.

I love it when the Chancellor says there'll be "10p on a glass of wine". I raise my glass and say "Not on my glass! Cheers!!" My wine works out at £1.40 a litre, if I make 5 gallons. And it can seem to be an inexhaustible quantity, until you have friends around for dinner, and I take a gallon to the table. It soon goes then - and the demijohn has cost about the same as a normal bottle from the co-op.

I brew my own wine, and it's worth the minor hassle, much like having to clean the dishes after a big Sunday dinner. And when one brew has been drawn into demijohns I immediately set another going, the longer it brews the better, and after stabilisation I like to let it sit for several days before 'bottling'. The last place I knew that sold brewing equipment, kits etc, in Lerwick was the place that turned into The Bop Shop, and now a music shop I can't mind the name of. I get everything I need off a friend of mine south. She answers all questions, orders and payment by email (so a paypal account is needed). Eleanor Kennedy is her name, her email is Eleanor@ellie-claire.co.uk I heartily recommend her (seasonal - now should be about the right time of year though) Elderflower kit. Takes a bit longer to settle and mature than the branded kits, but make one now and you'll have 4 gallons of delicious white wine for the festive season [Note I didn't say the C word}

Can I retrace my steps a bit. 100kg 10m at 9.8m/s/s actually only makes 10kws (Kilowatt Seconds! - bummer!!) So to make a 10(ish) kw gravity powerwall would need a 360000kg weight, and much heftier winch gear. But 360 tons isn't inconceivable is it... ... a concrete block of 5.4m cubed ... or steel block of 8ft cubed or equiv. volume would do it (34 years since I did Physics, but this is basic High School stuff - I still think there's Potential here...)

Recent sheds I've helped with: DITT Shetland Standard shed - dear, but good, easy to put up, built to last. Jewsons kit shed - very cheap, lightly built, fine for a town garden, won't survive out in the open in a bad gale. Brae Building Centre shed - very similar to DITT one, will stand up to a lot of weather, bit dearer, but worth it I reckon.

Also using the same calculation on a more household scale. A 100 kg (4 six inch blocks) weight raised 10 metres will store roughly 10kw, minus any inefficiencies... A physical (as opposed to chemical) Powerwall possibly?

I've enjoyed UHAs all over Shetland and all bar one allow mixed gender squads, and they are all very entertaining. I think the die hard Lk traditionalists' fears of a female invasion are un-necessary. The lasses would have to wait in line for a squad placement along with the rest of the newbies. The influx of female squad members would be a slow trickle, not an immediate takeover of the festival. I wish the women well with their campaign, but know that it won't change overnight.

Last small house I priced up building for myself was looking more like £130,000 and that was squeezing everything. You could possibly buy a fairly remote, needing lots of TLC, old house for that kind of money, but it would be far, far away from town.

I watched this on BBC's Click recently https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/technology-44549962/surplus-energy-rides-the-gravity-train and it got me thinking. Fine if you have vast areas of high unused hills, with no snow or ice, leaves on the line etc etc. But using gravity storage is vastly better than chemical batteries. Potential Energy = Mass in kg x Gravity (9. x Height So, a 20 ton concrete block (roughly 8 foot cube) raised 500m would store almost 100 million Joules (~ 0.1 Megawatts) minus any inefficiencies What we have, in some abundance in the UK, are redundant mines, and soon to be redundant oil rigs. Using these vertical shafts we could winch 8' cubes of concrete up and down very efficiently storing surpluses and feeding demands as required. Shetland may not have any disused mines to speak of, but we do have some of the highest cliffs in UK... and the continental shelf isn't all that far away to give us 2000m depth to play with.

My broadband story from last week. Having taken up BT on their offer of fibre connection, in Ollaberry approx 500m from exchange, no idea about any green box..., I was getting 7-12Mb speeds - sufficient but no where near the speeds touted in the ads. I was also a bit disappointed with the cost of BT, who whack on charges for "extras" such as Caller Display, Anytime Calls etc. So even being careful not to call mobile / premium numbers from the landline our bill regularly came in at just over £50 a month. Then Vodafone (who I have as my mobile provider) call me several times during work hours offering to provide our home broadband for a lot less. Even offering to pay any early exit fees that BT might come with. Sounded too good to be true, and cynical me told guy from Vodafone that I would check out the prices myself in my own time before changing anything. Last week I got round to it, finding Vodafone to be c.£32/m inc VAT inc all the "extras". So I took the plunge, switching to Vodafone. Then I get an email from BT wanting over £250 early exit to contract fees. No problem I thought, Vodafone man said they'd cover that. But lo and behold, they don't (they did say they'd do something up to £50...) and the "Your call may be recorded for security.. blah blah blah" recording from their salesman had 'luckily' vanished. Quick calculation, £250 / £18 (saving) equals >13 months to be better off switching, so I'm better to stick with BT for 11 months that remain in my contract then switch, so I did that - using the cooling off period to change my mind. Now the twist - BT have now reduced my bill to something not too different to what Vodafone were offering, as a sweetener for sticking with them. Can't remember the exact amounts, but it is significantly cheaper than the £50+ /m I've been paying. Maybe rattling the cage does work, it might work with other utilities too...

So aliens from Mars comes down to Earth... ...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want. During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens. "I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask, "but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?" "Jesus Christ?!?" the alien leader exclaims, "how do we not! He swings by our planet every two years or so. Awesome guy!" Now this obviously starts a huge debate within the UN, as this information now has implications to everything they knew. The pope, however, is not exactly a happy person as his brain is on other information. "EVERY TWO YEARS OR SO?!?" The pope exclaims, "We've still been waiting for his SECOND coming!" Trying to calm down the pope, the aliens say "Well maybe he didn't like your chocolate." The pope, upon hearing this news, takes a few moments to calm down. When he finally regains his composure, he states calmly, "Forgive me, but what does chocolate have anything to do with this?" The aliens respond, "Well when he was on our planet, we would give him huge boxes of chocolates. Why, what did you guys do when he was here?"

Further to my earlier post about house-share. I heard of a bunch of guys who shared a rented house while they all did uni. They all co-bought a house once they graduated, as no one of them could make the leap themselves. I think it worked out fine enough and slowly but surely they all took their first step on the housing ladder.

It helps if you aren't applying for a house on your own. Most social housing is 2 or 3 bed houses, and single men don't have the points required to get higher up the housing list. Could you apply jointly with a best mate and share a house - this worked for me 20+ years ago, (it was kind of like my student days having a flatmate) - and after a while one will disappear off with a partner have kids and get their own house. Then you ask officially for sole tenancy and bingo! you've got a council house.

A wife is in bed with her bit-on-the-side, and they hear some noise from down the stairs. Wife: "Oh, that'll be my husband home." Lover: "I better get out of here then!" Wife: "Oh don't worry about him, he'll be blind drunk as usual, just hide under the quilt until he falls asleep, then sneak out." Lover: "Might have to do that, I hear him stumbling up the stairs, I have no escape route" The husband enters the bedroom, strips off and falls into bed, pulling the quilt up around him. Husband: "Hey missus, why can I see six feet poking out from under the quilt?" Wife: "You're seeing thing man! You're obviously drunk." The husband gets up, walks round to the foot of the bed and says... "Oh yeah, sure enough, only four feet! You're right!"