Njugle

Any body ken any side splitters? NB Any mention of chickens and roads here will meet with the foulest response!! Preferably suitable for all ages likely to view this forum,please

Its an oldie:- A tramp appears in court charged with shoplifting, when asked why he had stolen a particular bottle of shampoo he replied "because i'm worth it".....

The old method for this, i may be out of date here, was to seal a copy of your recording and send it to yourself, leaving the envelope/package sealed. This provides legal evidence of originality and date.

This is exactly the kind of practical thinking that could save the council. Just think of the luxury and kudos of a rabbit fur hand rail on the brig! Marvellous. And in terms of acoustic damping, perfect! Now we are getting somewhere. I suggest that the essy-certs should gather the road kill rabbits en-route and deliver them to the towns schools for dinner purposes. Even Jamie Oliver can't knock that one. Better than turkey twizzlers anyway. The skins could be used for handicrafts too..another budget saving at minimal effort! Might even make the proposed 5%.

Do you really hate the M&S adverts McFly? Okay they're wearing a bit thin now, but the first ones were pure art. Especially the cigarette smoke steam.

A lot of this question has to do with the boundaries we set for ourselves, and the opportunities we choose to exploit. For an under 30 it can seem as if Shetland is restrictive in some ways, but at the same time the social aspect and security and natural resources are without compare anywhere other than another wealthy small island. It may seem as if the 'real world' is far away, but this is only a mental block, the mainland is really only a few £££'s away. Many under 30's spend more on a weekend out up here than they would in going south and having a spree there! Or forget about going out 'every' weekend and save the money to go somewhere more exotic. Hard to grasp when you're Appreciation is a major factor. We live in the middle of a real live nature documentary if you can be bothered to get out and see it, and you like that sort of thing. From my own experience, staying south was great for a while, but it was also great to get back again. That paradox depends entirely on what you are doing at the time. What "Yowe" said pretty much hits the nail on the head. There are different types of "freedom". The kind you get here is pretty exceptional really. This is a huge subject! I'm going to have to put the brakes on myself......screech! One thing i will add though is that Shetland can be a 'talent vortex', whereby sometimes people of talent who can't escape that whirlpool remain unfulfilled, whereas elsewhere they may go far/may amount to nothing, never known until tried. Shetlanders generally do excel elsewhere(?) It's in da blood!

Oh my god! You've just made me remember that the "Admiral" advert exists! Thanks a bunch. That parrot is next in line for a monty python sketch if i have anything to do with it.......ex-parrot that is. Conclusive proof that if you make an advert bad enough people will self promote it. You are forced to spread the company name to get it off your chest! I HATE IT!

Well,it's a blast from the past, and now totally commercial, but just in case there's anyone who hasn't seen the gerbil, or frog(top ten, bottom of list):- http://joecartoon.atomfilms.com/pages/home/

The chicken one is cool, reminds me of the baby on "Family Guy" is it? the indian one not quite so, so i didna look at any more. I'll save them for later.

You read my mind! I was just thinking that about the "bed for me" bit minutes ago! In a shallow attempt to corrupt the thread before it even starts; I've just seen the new "Nike womens" ad with the dancer? She's unbelievable! What a star! If she was on at the garrison, i'd pay to see her, and there ain't many modern dance shows i could say that for.......Take note Lloyd-Weber and your sickening nonsense.

So, from the empirical evidence gathered so far; The reason we can't find anything useful to do with rabbits is because people are generally obsessed with squirrels? And, scientifically, why is that? Is it a nut thing? Do people fear for their nuts but not their carrots? I don't know , you try to start a serious economic debate, and what happens....nuts, that's what.

Well what do you treat with squirrels then goodly sir? Bunions perhaps?

I'm glad you asked me that, Yowey. Viewers may be interested to know that i find silvikrin hairspray does the job nicely. And for the 'boy racers' among you, ask your mum for some glitter spray at the weekend to impress that ladies. Easier to fit than conventional wipers, or your money back, guaranteed!

There may be a slight air of negativity about the idea then?

Surely our next greatest natural resource after wind and rain has to be the dear old bunny rabbit, not currently exploited in any shape or form. Why not? And what could we do with them? My current scheme is to market them as heated windscreen wipers. Works a treat on frosty mornings. And they actually squeak less than rubber ones. True! Cheap as chips!

Hard to comment without knowing more of your circumstance, but; To be in Up-Helly-Aa you either need to be a resident of Lerwick, or start out as a fiddle box carrier when young. Or of course a musician. The country Fire Festivals are less formal, but is probably true to say that you may wait a long time to be asked unless you expressed an interest yourself. With the huge numbers of people involved and more friends and family joining all the time it is possibly vain to imagine that it would come to you. Sorry. However! If you were asked, do you seriously think you would accept the months of squad meetings, the expense, the whimsical act(not easy when sober) and the prospect of spending a whole night watching your compadres get blootered? Still, it's nice to be asked just so you can say "No" eh? ps i am not an advocate of U-H-A, it's just the tone of your inquiry prompts me to write this. correct me if i'm wrong.

So den, my illustrious illuminatii, how does one 'fold a corner' on an audio book on ones HD? It's got me stumped, and i refuse to revert to the old papyrus to scribe the timeline progress manually. In fact, just tell me to naff off

That's a done deal Poolhaddio Daddio. You want cash? Or can we do a deal in peat? I guess not, you are in Yell after all. Selling sand to the Arabs was easier. Then i can get back to woo' ing my hearts desire, cos: Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. Here's looking at Yowe, kid. x

What a truly awful awful idea! Plagiarisism of the exploitative plagiarists (I'll never forgive them for admitting that they were witholding video footage of T in the park (was it?) so's to increase sales of their new video, ptuh! Punk? Not in name, nature or belief. Rebels on a get rich quick scheme. Just another pop band!) (There is more punk in Liam Howlett's little finger and he doesn't claim or pretend to be) Sheesh, that must have hit a raw nerve. Note to self: I don't think i like greenday. Sorry

Fantastic! I am truly grateful to you Jeemie .................. ...Take this ewe-surper away from my peerie caddie! I fear there is something fishy about the guy, and that he is no prime catch.

Thanks to all so far for the feedback. Keep it coming. I'm surprised not to have seen BT or Homecall feature yet. As a side issue, has anyone ever heard of anyone using the "onspeed" software? It poses the question that paying for 512k BB and £24.99 p/a for onspeed would give you the equivalent of 2Mb BB (?)

Ay chihuahua! That's one 'hot tub' i'd be a fool to pass up. Scented waters too. By hook or by crook, i'll be there! So, must i wait for dipping season, or shall we dive right in? There's no point in bleating around the bush

Promotion is indeed crucial, though possibilities relatively limited locally. Having been down the 'posters in shops' route many years ago i'd like to think it did as much as the newspaper ad. It's something you don't notice much now. Shared gigs are another undervalued resource. All hype is good hype. I do think that christophers previous statements about quality attracting fan-base are slightly idealistic in Shetland. There will always be a high percentage of a crowd who will attend a well promoted gig "because it's on". And if they become fans, fine and good. A properly promoted event could comprise three people in fancy dress hitting dustbins and still be a success, and have a big crowd. Another undervalued approach now is the 'charity gig' angle. It may not pay but it is the best hype going as it attracts a crowd whether they are fans or not, and of course if they become fans, good and there is the feel-good angle for future promotions.

And soon to be; the US 54th federal state of iran too, if we all live long enough. Or is that 55? i'm losing count. (sorry. that has little or nothing to do with nuclear vs renewables does it?)

Yes indeed, you can always rely on a woman to make a spactacle of herself aroond up-helly-aa. Anyhoo, i canna beleive doo passed up the chance to get shirty about my belittling the huge amount of work that goes into the bannocks and soup! AND sins do started it, whot steight wood the wurld bee in iv we alloud feemail akademix to axept flexibull spellingz, aye axe yoo!