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L9ndh

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Everything posted by L9ndh

  1. What does John Prescott have in common with MFI furniture? A couple of screws in the wrong place... and the whole cabinet falls apart!
  2. The lawyer said to Mickey Mouse, "With the best will in the world, Mr Mouse, I can't see any court in the land granting a divorce from Mrs Mouse on the grounds that she has buck teeth." Mickey replied "I didn't say she has buck teeth - I said she's f*****g Goofy!"
  3. A couple of hunters are out stalking bunnies in Dunrossness when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other hunter whips out his mobile phone, calls NHS24 and gasps " My friend is dead, what can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead..." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
  4. Encona is good but for a real kick get hold of "Dan T's White Hot Inferno" Don't forget to put some bog rolls in the freezer ready for the result...
  5. Had it now for 20 years - only thing that stops it is a daily zoton tablet. God help me if I forget my tablet and eat bread or pastry on the same day!
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