Colin

Humble Pie time I'm afraid... My earlier posting suggesting that it would be difficult to pass one of these notes was wrong. It seems that one of them was passed over the bar at Scalloway Hall on Friday night. We only discovered it this evening when one of the band phoned to let us know that we had paid them with it.. (We took the money from the bar to pay them) I have also been told this evening that 6 (SIX) had been passed at Tingwall Hall (UNCONFIRMED). This seems like a very high number to me and could be the subject of a little inflation (not to mention hearsay). Nevertheless, deliberately passing 1 is fraud, passing 6 is definately so!!! I still believe that the squad concerned produced these notes as a joke but it looks like there might have been an opportunist or two on the loose.

Does this mean that residents of Whalsay, Bressay, Yell, Unst etc. should pay more because of the millions spent on ferries?

I've seen and handled these notes. Very pretty but not capable of fooling anyone. We got a few of them (jokingly I might add) presented at Scalloway Hall over the weekend. Only danger was we were that busy at the bar that it would have been easy to accept them without question but, given that some of them are only printed on one side, it would be difficult to pass them anywhere. To me, it was just a harmless 'fun thing' that the squad produced. What would cause me concern though is if somebody was deliberately trying to present them outside the Fire Festival venues. That, in my opinion, is fraud. No doubt there will be some that take a 'dim view' of them. The really scary bit is that modern computing/copying equipment is capable of producing some really fine replicas. All it takes is a little knowledge and the right materials.

If you've developed Man Boobs and haven't been feeling yourself lately. Nows the time to start....

I would like the last meal of my life to be the same as the first one and, served in a similar manner...

Pleased to help

I bought a couple + batteries from www.7dayshop.com Done a few years with no problems and less than £20 for the two sets. I also bought extra batteries at the same time Tip. Company is based in the Chanel Islands so orders less than £18 do not attract VAT You can also combine shipping by placing 2 (or more) orders of less than £18 each.

I have to disagree with this. It doesn't matter much to me whether he is a plumber, doctor or a member of any other profession that is not politically affiliated. He has as much right to voice/publish an opinion as anyone else. To me, the issue should revolve around the mechanisms he used to distribute it. If was distributed by 'Doctor xxx' as opposed to 'Dr xxx' then, patently, he is abusing his official position. Did he use NHS resources to produce the pamphlet? If he did then, presumably, he is clear breach of his position although I have read that a sum of £700 was paid to produce it. Did he use NHS resources to compile his mailing list or did he hand deliver? Compiling a mailing list from NHS patient records would be against the Data Protection Act and, probably, his terms of employment. Perhaps, given that only 1 written complaint was received, the reaction of NHS Shetland was a little to PC and a bit of a 'knee jerk' but, it is an internal disciplinary matter and, rightly, no real detail has been released for public consumption. It is also likely that the content of the letter set some alarm bells ringing obliging a standard 'suspend and investigate' procedure. Maybe I'm judging the man unfairly but, possibly, he crossed the line between being a devout christian and a zealot and spreading 'the word' has become an obsession that is interfering with the proper conduct of his practice. In which case, to protect themselves and the public, NHS Shetland are right to intervene.

I agree but it's not the only similarity. They (the media) also seem to be making a point that most, if not all, were heroin addicts. Perhaps the psycho is targeting them for that reason?. What I find particularly irritating is that, apart from the above, television news seems to consist of the studio anchor interviewing their reporter 'on the spot' and presenting what is essentially an opinion piece as news. Anything for a headline but, I fear that they are going to do a great dis-service to the young women that have been murdered. What is important is that there seems to be a 'psycho' on the loose. Maybe more than one and, because of this 5 young women are dead. Perhaps someone has told the media to tread carefully but, very little is being said about the possible 'origins' of the killer. Speculation (and my opinion piece) but; What are the chances that someone has just been released from prison/secure unit and gone on a spree?

Watched the program. Most telling point was that it appears that the maximum cost to the banks (according to the experts) were as follows. Bouncing a cheque £4.50 Failing a Direct Debit £2.50 The most interesting aspect was that an entire community had been mobilised into claiming refunds and, apparently, were successful. In addition, the OFT were keen to show that they were taking quite an interest in these practices. Questions arising but, sadly, not asked during the program are; 1: If the OFT finds in favour of the customers and fixes an appropriate maximum charge, will the banks then be obliged to refund excess charges for the full 6 year term allowed or, most likely, will it be watered down to the point that customers will still have to claim? (OK, it's a no-brainer) 2: Will the banks then be taken to court by the OFT and prosecuted to the extent that a full legal precedent is set? (Will the Government allow it?)

I take punches in my sleep quite often. She say that I snore but I'm not so sure

Try this one and enter a few commands. http://www.simonsezsanta.com/

There WAS one incident with roadworks. She came out of that one unscathed but they had to dig the foreman out..

I'm beginning to think that the only solution to so many on going problems is going to be some kind of human sacrifice. I've got the black candles and silver handled knife. Anyone know where I can find a virgin?

It's available in parts of Scalloway providing you have a pretty clear path over the hill to Bressay. I've got it here without an amplifier but, had to buy a high gain wide band aerial (From memory, about £12). Picture quality isn't too bad but, in fairness, would be much better if I bought an amplifier. Others have bought the gear and failed so it pretty much depends on local conditions.

Had a very stressful 53 minutes with one of BT's call centres yesterday... Not a PC or Router problem, checked tested and OK. The LINE is faulty. What really gets to me is that I have been in IT since before most of them were born and, despite telling them that I KNOW what I'm talking about, they insist on plodding through their damned checklist.. (Swearing, I'm getting stressed just thinking about it). Kept getting put on hold while the operator went to check something(?). Anyway, after telling the young lady that I had already answered THAT question several times (she kept retuning to the start of her list) I started getting a little aggressive.. I think it works when you point out to them that you think that they have no technical knowledge whatsoever, have failed to understand the nature of your complaint and and that you wish to speak to their supervisor immediately. I also suggested that it would help if said supervisor was someone who had English as their first language as I was tired of trying to communicate with someone who was so obviously lacking in that department. Offensive, possibly, but it got a result. An engineer will be checking the line today. A quick line test (not 100% accurate) that most could try. Disconnect all equipment from the phone lines. Plug an 'old' style telephone into the master socket. Lift the receiver and dial any single digit. You should be able to hear 'nothing' Crackles, hum, buzzing etc suggest that there may be a problem with the line or master socket.

Anyone think this will work around here? http://www.rockyp.com/DL/UnusualSpeedControlIdea.wmv

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman who is great in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women NEVER meet.

If she was on your side would you have picked her up?

Why? Brian Johnson v Ms Dynamite and Gary Numan... No Contest

Saw a good one this evening. Elderly English Lady (Can we refer to them as 'EEL'(s) in future? save a lot of typing) riding motorised buggy on pavement gets told off for riding without lights etc. "I'm on the pavement" she declares. "Yes" was the reply "and the rest of us have to step into the road because of that" Interesting point in there somewhere. Anyway, moments later she discovers that she can't get off the pavement because it's to high. Probably went round in circles until her batteries died

Glad you enjoyed them. The bad news is those two were just the tip of the iceberg. There's lots more. Not to mention the very un-PC references to her mode of transport within the family. Maybe another time.

The essential difference between men and women is; Men will happily walk down a street wearing an old T shirt that shows off their beer belly, an old pair of jeans that shows off their builders bum with 3 days worth of stubble on their faces and still think they look good..

As with drivers of other vehicles, they should NOT be permitted on any public road until they have passed a test of some kind. I don't care how 'un-PC' that sounds. My mother had one and she was lethal.. My mother in law has one and, whilst she's a little more restrained, she too has her moments. Some of the incidents were hair raising to say the least. (some were also hilarious as well) If you can be bothered to read on, here's one or two. My mother lived in the centre of Swansea which, like most cities, had very heavy traffic, and running right past her home was the Kigsway. Anyone who has been to Swansea, and for the benefit of those that don't, will know that the Kingsway is a 4 lane carriageway. Anyway, she used to leave her home with my stepfather (also disabled) hanging onto the handles on the back of her buggy. Bad enough in itself but, rather than sticking to the pavements, she used to go straight ontho the Kingsway and, at maximum speed, take off up the middle of the road with stepdad hanging on for dear life. It got so bad that the police were on first name terms with them.. Things didn't really come to a head until my stepfather got one as well and started vising local pubs... On another occasion I was home for a visit and, ever helpful, decided to cook them a meal. First, a little backgroud info. Swansea City's Vetch (football) field was right next to my mothers place and a couple of hundred yards further on was St Helens rugby/Crecket ground. Things were going well until I put the meal onto the table. My mother, who was sitting in her electric wheelchair, put down her book and set off to cover the short distance to the table. Unfortunately, she had been 'fiddling' with the controls and the spped control was set to maximum. Result, my stepfather, who I had already helped into his seat, was pinned VERY firmly to the wall and let out a great yell. My mother, startled and confused, immediately went into reverse and dissapeared through (quite literally) the glass doors into the garden. Next thing I know is that I am being seriously threated by four very large rugby players and a couple of footballers who just happened to be passing at the time. Wasn't easy getting my side across as my stepfather had a very serious speech impediment and my mother was, by this time, to upset to speak. Bit long winded (sorry) but it should serve to illustrate that these devices are a massive boon to disabled folk BUT they should be taught to use them.