DarkstarIII

You are turdting me??? Reallly ??? 8O

Some people's views on Buckfast.... An incredibly potent drink made by the monks of Buckfast Abbey. Said lads must have a wicked and rather warped sense of humour to produce a drink such as this and have the cheek to call it a Tonic. 8O The drink itself is billed on the bottle as being 'A blend of the finest french wines'. In reality it's a mix of wine with some serious amounts of chemicals including enough caffeine to resucitate the dead.. and some bits and pieces of others that I'm quite convinced are the constituent parts of the monks toenails and other parts that we wont mention for the fainthearted and easily grossed out... 8O It's consumed for the most part in Scotland and Northern Ireland , particularly in Glasgow and Armagh respectively. I've often thought that the reason it doesn't travel around the globe is probably related to some health and safety guidelines that other countries have wisely instituted. And the wish to keep their constituents sane... As to the drinking of it, the overall effect is one of being so blind drunk as to make you fall over in a catatonic state yet being so high on the chemicals that you are completely unable to sleep. 8O 8O 8O This is where it gets dangerous. It's very easy at this point to decide to carry on drinking the stuff. In fact it's very difficult to stop. The real danger though is that everything that seems like a good idea at the time when you're this drunk on any other alcohol, but is normally unachievable because you can't move, is now feasible. You can walk and talk (or rather run and shout) and appear to be quite normal in most respects. You also have a level of confidence in yourself that most cocaine users could only dream of. Problem is, you simply have no mental capacity to stop yourself doing things that are, to more sober people, obviously suicidal and/or completely insane. Waking up with serious bruising or in bed with someone you don't know the name of is the only memory you will probably have of the night. Actually waking up in bed is a good sign. Heavy drinkers have been known to wake up in back alleys, often in other continents/hemispheres/planets/dimensions from the one they started off in. A side effect seems also to be, though I hate to say it lest it encourage others, a great deal of sexual stamina. A common weegie expression is 'Buckfast makes you *uckfast'. The problem for the male being that you have no problem getting an erection but a great deal of time is required to achieve orgasm. For the female it generally just makes every male seem attractive and sex seem like an absolute must have. Couple this with a drunken loss of inhibition and your chances of getting laid are good if all involved have partaken of the stuff. Your chances of making a serious relationship blunder are also sky high. Beware of waking in your own bed to find that the person beside you is neither your significant other nor your normal gender preference. Some tips on drinking it: Although I would NOT recommend even going there! 1 - It tastes awful at first, try not to smell it whilst taking a sip. It just enhances the problem. After a few swigs it will disolve your taste buds and the whole issue of taste will go away. 2 - It is traditional to drink directly from the green bottle it is sold in. This is a tradition for a reason. You really don't want to know what it looks like. The fact that it's supposed to be red wine but is actually brown is neither here nor there. The grainy bits floating around in it like some sort of strained sewage in a watery soup are the real put-off. 3 - Keep the bottle top. Get into the habit of putting it back on between swigs. If this stuff spills it will permanently brown stain anything it does not disintegrate. And the smell is not removable, like for weeks. 4 - Go out. Leave your home, especially if there are others in your home drinking the stuff and you happen to treasure any parts of your abode. It's also a lot more fun outside. 5 - Don't. Just don't. Its better to stay sober, sane, in control of your sexuality and out of prison. DONT DRINK IT! Benjamin Franklin once said 'Alcohol is Gods way of letting us know how much he loves us.' It should then come as no surprise that it was a gang of monks that were inspired with the concocting of Buckfast. The stuff is magic. It is true that the Initiate must handle Buckfast with care, but once in the fold you will find that you never wish to return. Buckfast is drank to get drunk. It should be made clear that this is not the kind of stuff that one has a glass of with a nice steak. Prepare for a taste sensation comparable to cough medicine mixed with vodka. Takes a small bit of getting used to, but the accustomisation process is worth every bit of it. The Buckfast drunk is potent and high octane. You are likely to perform rather bizarre acts in a perfectly controlled and reasonable way. It promotes good conversation, but care must be taken that gushing doesn't begin towards the end of the bottle. It provides an excellent partner to marijuana, with both offsetting each other wonderfully. Drunk, yet with it, yet crazy drunk. Strange? Buckfast is also consumed enthusiastically in parts of West Ireland, notably Galway, where teenagers are executed if they have not imbibed their assigned quota before the legal drinking age. Best drank outside. Ideal scenario... summer evening, park bench by a river, some ducks, good company, twenty cigarettes... nice. There are a few golden rules. 1. Never drink more than one bottle in a night. Note: This rule can be broken for special occasions, but it's not recommended. You can rule out sleeping and you'll feel like someone who lives next door the following day. 2. Drink from the bottle. There are a few rogue 'glass users' who can never hope to garner the respect of the Buckfast community. 3. 'Cracking sequence'. > Twist paper bag snugly around bottle. > Open lid. (Screw top - convenient... nice) > Clink. (Very important, all parties must be involved). You may feel free to add your 'signature' here, be it 'Cheers', 'Health', 'Get it down ya' or whatever you feel comfortable with. > First slug. > Exchange concerned glances with colleagues. > Smile. 8O http://www.bawbag.com/buckfast.php

Talking of which... this is a rather graphic warning to sheep... LMAO... http://www.aardvarkarchie.com/pictures/images/signs/sign001.jpg or http://www.aardvarkarchie.com/pictures/images/signs/sign032.jpg

Thats too funny... LMAO

Ahh well you best talk to my other half then cause he is selling a lot of his comics.... and believe me he has LOADS.. thousands... they drive me mad.. lol... so if you are looking for anything in particular let me know and I will see what I can do...

Lol.. well I guess I am now 33 and I want to settle down and have kids.. and shetland is the place to do that... I think its what you make it... there is a lot to do if you use your imagination, it is like anywhere... even here you can get lonely, bored, etc... and everything costs money here too.. so its like that everywhere, at least in shetland the air is cleaner, the beaches are cleaner and the people are much nicer... and the neds... well the neds are nothing up there compared to down here... trust me on that one.. If there was more horses, shetland would be too perfect... but alas.. there is still skinny dipping (whilst sticking my tongue out at the sharks), walking, paranormal research.. going to the gym, swimming, mountainbiking, kayaking.. (that should be a laugh) and jeez who knows what else ... LOL...working on my music, poems art and meeting new people and having a laugh... Incidentally I hope we get a cinema... popcorn is good...

Ewwwwwwwwwwww that is just gross... but ummm thanks for sharing that with me... 8O

About the same degree as driving a go-kart made from fish-boxes, to a Porche. To put it another way: Azureus might be a bit like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, but BitLord would be like having a polystyrene one. The version of BitLord I used recently was a very basic client with not many options or flexibility. Azureus has a lot more power and control - I like it especially for the graphs but they're not really necessary. At the end of the day, they're both doing the same job and BitLord gets the job done; it's just that there's something better which is just as free. Thanks ... I will give it a try.....

I must admit that I love horses, having worked with them most of my life and having had 2 of my own, and also bred them... and love showjumping and teaching people to ride, its rather sad to see that there arent many HORSES in shetland. There are however rather a few shetland ponies... and as lovely as they are.. I think my feet might drag along the ground... Is there much call for horses in shetland, are many people interested... I thought it would be great to have a riding centre or a trekking centre... where visitors can see the island on horseback.. but maybe there isnt enough interest. Has anyone got any comments to make?????

What is the difference between the two???

The best gig that I have been to recently was COMBICHRIST in Edinburgh... but if anyone has TORRENTSPY (which requires bitlord) then you can download some... I would also suggest... just to liven ye all up is ummm... SOIL, ANATHEMA, COMBICHRIST, VNV NATION, ICON OF COIL, ASSEMBLAGE 23, DISTURBED, KILSWITCH ENGAGE, THE CLASH, THE RAMONES, TYPE O NEGATIVE, PLACEBO, KORN, FAITH NO MORE, KILLING JOKE, WOLFSHEIM, LACUNA COIL to name but a few and that isnt even all the top shelf of my music collection... lol... CLANNAD, ENIGMA, CAPPERCAILLE, ENYA, LOREENA MCKENNIT, JEAN MICHEL JARRE, MIKE OLDFIELD, MOBY, LEFTFIELD, MORCHEEBA, LISA GERRARD..... the list be endless....

I guess I just wanted to be happy!

Yup and I cant wait... its funny when I read that folk want to move to the mainland.. but believe me, they are nae missin much... dont know how lucky they are... Home for christmas hopefully...

8O There is something spooky in Scalloway castle... when I was there I got a picture of a massive ORB... which I shall upload here... pretty soon! I was shocked when I looked at the pic on the camera after it was taken and i have two pictures a couple of seconds between each other.. and one has the orb... the other doesnt! weird.. and I was standing in one of the rooms and something tapped me on the head and it wasnt falling masonary! 8O

8O Oh fabulous .... well remind me no to be going for a swim in the peerie sands then... 8O and to think it could have been waitin... whilst I was floatin on ma lilo... 8O 8O

I believe your one of these: Ankled Badgered, Banjaxed, Battered, Befuggered, Bernard Langered, Bladdered, Blasted, Blathered, Bleezin, Blitzed, Blootered, Blottoed, Bluttered, Boogaloo, Brahms & Liszt, Buckled, Burlin Cabbaged, Chevy Chased, Clobbered Decimated, Dot Cottoned, Druck-steaming, Drunk as a Lord, Drunk as a skunk Etched Fecked, Fleemered , Four to the floor Gatted, Goosed, Got my beer goggles on, Guttered Had a couple of shickers, Hammer-blowed, Hammered, Hanging, Having the whirlygigs, Howling Inebriated, Intoxicated Jahalered, Jaiked up, Jan'd - abbrev for Jan Hammered, Jaxied, Jeremied, Jolly Kaned Lagged up, Lamped, Langered [also langers, langerated], Laroped, or alt. larrupt, Lashed, Leathered, Legless, Liquored up Locked, Locked out of your mind ,Loo la Mad wey it, Mandoo-ed, Mangled, Manky, Mashed, Meff'd, Merl Haggard, Merry, Minced, Ming-ho, Minging, Moired, Monged, Monkey-full, Mottled, Mullered Newcastled, Nicely irrigated with horizontal lubricant Off me pickle, Off me trolley, On a campaign, Out of it, Out yer tree Paggered, Palintoshed, Paraletic, Peelywally, Peevied, Pickled, Pie-eyed, Pished, Plastered, Poleaxed, Pollatic Rat-legged,Ratted, Ravaged, Razzled, Reek-ho, Rendered, Rosy glow, Rubbered, Ruined Saying hello to Mr Armitage, Scattered, Schindlers, Screwed, Scuttered Shedded [as in " My shed has collapsed taking most of the fence with it"], Slaughtered, Sloshed, Smashed, Snatered ), Snobbled Sozzled, Spangled, Spannered, Spiffed, Spongelled, Squiffy, Steamin, Steampigged, Stocious, Stonkin Tanked, Tashered, Tipsy, Trashed, Trollied, Troubled, Trousered, Twisted Warped, Wasted, Wellied, With the fairies, Wrecked Zombied -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA nicely put!

Sounds good to me Frontal... I take it I can trust that you shall research some more on places that the group can go to ... etc... feel free to pm me to discuss the finer details..

I am glad. I have done this type of thing on the mainland and have always been interested in doing similar in shetland due to history and folklore .... The people I am interested in joining are over 21, and have a serious interest in the paranormal... being a medium/psychic, or sensitive would be an advantage .. but its not essential... just a sensible outlook.

8O I am amazed that she didnt end up with a broken spine... and who was that idiot that grabbed her arms and pulled her on her feet .... some people just dont have a clue...

I have always found false tans excellent, and much better than going on a sunbed. I have already had a couple of moles removed which makes me even more against them... There are products on the market nowadays that are checked and tested, and do not go orange... if buying from net best read the feedbacks.. to see if people liked them or hated them... The problem is..young girls are seeing all the female celebrities in magazines and on the tv, and they want to be like them, and if they are tanned they think that they want to be like that too ... but what they dont realise is that most celebs dont go to sunbeds ... they use false tans... i.e. st tropez and fake bake to name but a couple. There are so many of these products on the market nowadays that you dont know which ones will make you go orange, or not... I have tried most...and the best I would say is fake bake... either the gel or the mousse. and as someone rightly said... remember to exfoliate properly first, and moisturise elbows, knees and ankles.... and go easy on your face with it, otherwise you will end up looking like dale winton. ewwwwwwwww 8O

Cool.... here's one of the pictures that was taken when on Vigil to the Kirk O Shotts in Lanarkshire Scotland. Ectoplasm and plenty orbs... http://www.ghosthunters.org.uk/images/46_The_Kirk_O_Shotts_1st_Visit/22%20~%20Mist%20And%20Orb%20Appear%20Again.jpg If you look closely... you can make out what looks like a dragon face... but who knows what it is....

Wouldnt say it is the most unusual but probably the best...

I think the shetland dialect is great... and when and if should I have children and they are brought up on the island, then aye, I would like them to learn how to speak properly... shetlandlike! LMAO!

Lol a ride in the tardis would be somewhat interesting... lol (hint: stay away from de herb!) Anyway, I was wondering who would be interested in starting our own paranormal team/group, which would include going to reputed haunted places, night vigils etc etc... even eventually getting our own paranormal shetland website>????? All ye in favour say aye!

Hey... I was wondering if there was an interest in the Paranormal in Shetland???? [/b]