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Everything posted by DamnSaxon

  1. Well, I've had a scan of those links you posted, AT, ahead of seeing my mate later today. All very jolly, but no cigar. They're all just on the detail that things appear to be warming up overall, but what we're looking for is the proof of the core of the AGW religion - i.e. that any increase is mainly due to human-generated greenhouse gases. Nice to note crofter's mention of Miskolczi's work - if he's right (and he does seem to have done some serious work on it), then there is literally no reason to worry about humanity's emissions at all - except that it shows what generally filthy creatures we are, of course, but then we knew that already. I do agree with Miskolczi that, overall, the climate systems generally stabilise themselves - if they didn't, Earth would have gone the way of Venus or Mars aeons ago. As for the sun cooling since 1970, there was the finding by Sami Solanki of the Max Planck Institute in 2004 that the sun is more active now than over the last 8000 years, and indeed is in a state of unusually high activity for about the last 60 years ... which would seem to point in exactly the opposite direction. It will be interesting to see what happens over the next few years now the Sun has (at last) started to show a few spots again - the next maximum being due in 2012, just in time to knock out the communications satellites for the London Olympics. Dunno about anyone else, but I find that the more stuff I read about the energetics of our little planet and its neighbours, the less I feel I know. The whole business seems so darn complicated that the only sure thing is that simplistic economic solutions like taxing the hell out of us all to "fight global warming" can't be the answer. All that is ever going to do is invent yet another big-money market to enrich the already obscenely rich at the expense of the rest of us.
  2. I rate Peer Block, it's surprising how much it keeps out - besides people you don't want "sharing" files with you, like the RIAA/MPAA. I do wonder though how many people at work are really sharing - most employers are understandably not enthusiastic about their employees doing that sort of thing on the firm's puters. I occasionally torrent stuff - mostly things people recommend to me that have been on telly recently, rather than Hollywood blockbusters (I'd probably pay to avoid most of those). Download, watch, delete, nobody would ever have made any money out of me for it anyway. Can't agree with KoF that it's going out of style. One interesting experiment, if you're using the list that includes Google, Yahoo, etc: Using (in my case) a Yahoo email account, log out of it, then close the browser and quickly switch Peer Block back to blocking HTTP. I can sit there for five minutes or more watching my PC trying to talk to Yahoo, and numerous Yahoo servers trying to talk to my PC. Remember, the browser is closed, the transaction is finished - yet there they are, all these blocked attempts at connection. It ain't the (closed) browser, so what exactly is going on in my bloated OS? It sure don't have my approval, as the actual user of my box. I don't care, you understand, I'll block it anyhow, but I still wonder what's trying to exchange what when I have closed the connection down. Viva Peer Block. I feel safer for having it there.
  3. Cheers for the links, AT. I've bookmarked them and will pass them on to my pal for his scrutiny.
  4. Surely the whole question is one of degree, though? - Given that carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas, some degree of warming due to increasing it is only to be expected - but he thinks, as do I, that it is only to an insignificant extent. It's the "danger" we're supposed to be panicking about, after all - thus, proof needed of "danger" arising out of a modest increase in a trace gas.
  5. I mentioned a few pages back that I'd started looking particularly closely at this business because a friend had put £100 on the table for anyone who could show him the proof of manmade global warming. That was well over a year ago now. I have completely failed to find any such proof. He has completely failed to find any such proof. His son (Physics 1st, Imperial College) has completely failed to find any such proof. I saw him at the weekend, and he agreed to extend the offer to Shetlinkers. AT - anyone who's been supporting manmade global warming round here! - for that £100, all that's required is to produce the "smoking gun" which implicates humanity as the threat - more precisely: > The one peer-reviewed(*) paper which conclusively proves beyond reasonable doubt that manmade carbon dioxide emissions are causing dangerous levels of global warming. It doesn't have to be an internet link, of course, so long as we can find the journal in the City or University library. The paper must give the full theory of how this is happening, rather than being just another extrapolation from the untrustworthy "records", which have lost all credibility. My friend is the ultimate arbiter, of course - it's his hundred quid - but he says he's happy to pay for the education. (*) above - By this, he means, of course, traditional peer review, rather than the version as redefined by CRU in their email correspondence where "non-approved" views are suppressed. Good luck. In the event of a hit, I'd even be convinced myself, and have to "un-convert" myself back to belief in AGW again. At least it wouldn't have cost me anything ... always did believe in free education ...
  6. I'm still not sure that I can quite believe this. What is it about the political mind? South Carolina now requires ’subversives’ to register. Who said surrealism was dead?
  7. Ah, but if you just wait awhile there are a lot of 'em ...
  8. ^^^ You're okay, but whenever I see "power" and "digital data" hanging around together in one sentence I tend to worry. If they can deliver them separately down proper cabling, no problem, but keep an eye on any suggestions. It's too late to worry about the anorak, btw, much too late ...
  9. Aaargh! Please, don't suggest anything involving sending digital data down power lines! As a radio enthusiast, I know only too well that these systems invariably radiate bucketloads of interference all over the radio spectrum, because power lines are not screened and so act as giant aerial systems for the digital "splatter". There is no technical "quick fix" for it, either. Even if you don't use the spectrum yourself, please don't pollute it for those of us who do! Proper data cables or fibre optics ... Any data over power lines ... (That's "Evil and very mad", btw, not "or" ... )
  10. ^^^ This is true, but the previous exchange between Gibber and myself got pasted over from another thread so I just added a bit to my previous observations about conspiracy theories in general. (In which I did mention what I think on 9/11, in passing at least.)
  11. And I see now that even Bloomberg financial analysts seem to think conspiracy isn't so crazy ...
  12. Beautiful! And a tip for cheaters - if you build your snowman up against a wall, you get a bigger snowman for the same amount of snow (because you don't have to make a back half!)
  13. The "core science", inasmuch as there is any, when all we are ever fed is the output from unvalidated computer models and scare stories, surely requires that the data from which the science is derived be as true and accurate as the researchers can make it. Since I've been accused of "having trouble believing the data", let me introduce you to somebody who's spent a lot of his spare time scanning through the data I'm supposed to believe. If you haven't, you should read a blog called "Musings from the Chiefio", on Wordpress. This fellow is a professional programmer who by day analyses the financial markets, and in his spare time has shredded every claim made for the accuracy of the data on which the house of cards called "Manmade Global Warming" has been built. He has shown how, over time, the thermometers - mainly in the Northern hemisphere, of course - have "migrated south" - in other words, the "baseline" includes only cooler, more northerly locations, while the later figures include a lot more data from warmer locations - which (surprise!) pushes the average up. He has introduced us to what he calls "The Bolivia Effect" - I'll let him describe it: He has also calculated that, when you take the various fiddles into account, the introduced "warming" over the last century appears to be about 0.6°C ... funny, I could swear I've heard that figure somewhere before, and been told to worry about it. He has shown how, if you simply take the records from any single long-established weather station and see what's happening in one place, there is no warming to be found. He has shown how the number of thermometers now included in the set used for the records has collapsed so dramatically that there are - speaking in the strictly statistical sense - too few now to serve as a basis for any kind of record keeping, still less prediction. On the KUSI-TV website, here, there's a programme in which "KUSI meteorologist, Weather Channel founder, and iconic weatherman, John Coleman explains the science and controversy surrounding Global Warming" - segment 4 of the programme is where they discuss the "Bolivia Effect". "Cherry-picked quotes from hacked e-mails"? (they were virtually certainly leaked, btw) - nobody can beat climate catastrophists when it comes to cherry picking. You bet I have trouble believing those figures. Of course, "the Chiefio" isn't a "climate scientist", and nor are iconic weathermen or myself. But then, nor are the "climate scientists", if they're prepared to issue cataclysmic pronouncements on the basis of what they have to know is carefully manicured "data" run through unvalidated mathematical models. Garbage in, garbage out. Move along please, there's no global warming to see here.
  14. Mittens? Really? Better not look at this, then ...
  15. ^^^^ Argh! http://www.optillusions.com/dp/files/1-65.jpg Feel like this myself some mornings.
  16. "Like many highly gifted Jews who work toward making a better world" ... Yes, for sure. But not the minority who I'm talking about. "money and power can be used for good, Jews are probably over represented in regard to that too" ... If they're over-represented in money and power generally, I should hope so. The biggest money and power boys seem to prefer to invest it in hoovering up more money and power, though. "if you presuppose the truth of the one world government and all the rest" ... Don't have to presuppose a thing, just read the news a little more closely than is possible if you only read/watch/listen to mainstream media news. I must admit that the internet, for all the tosh to be found there, does make this a lot easier than my old habit of listening to the news on as many shortwave stations as I could find - easier on the ears, certainly. "Yes, it’s a shame people of all groups do that." ... It's a bigger shame when the people concerned are wielding the sort of power they are. The biggest shame of all is that the human race hasn't yet found a way of keeping these people under control so they can't screw things up for the rest of us. Etc and ellipses only mean I haven't read every contemporary account of WWII. Stalin? Was his name originally not Joseph David Djugashvili, a typically Ossettian/Khazar/Jewish name? If not, please point me to something authoritative and I'll cheerfully take him off the list and amend my world view accordingly. "What exactly?" ... Mainly the astonishing concentration of Jews in the running of the whole business, as mentioned. Distinctly disproportionate, and for sure not using their money and power for good ends - at least, not ends which were good for most people. "It struck Hitler as a tad unusual too." ... or might have, perhaps, except that he seems to have done most of his shopping with good ol' Prescott Bush, another of the clan and two of whose relatives have recently been spotted in a rather powerful position. "without posting any real evidence" ... Surely that's the defining feature of a conspiracy theory? - As I pointed out above, the political theories are the ones which tend to turn out to be true when the facts eventually come out. If there was enough "real evidence" around, it would have stopped being a "conspiracy theory", like the handful I mentioned. Jewish doctors "in it together to help the sick"? I hadn't noticed Jewish - or any other - doctors weilding disproportionate degrees of influence in their own cause, actually. I'd like to hope that all doctors are "in it together to help the sick", anyhow. Holocaust denial? Definitely 1st category. Let that name not be used for the revisionists, though, since the purpose of revision is to clarify the facts. Every other historical event is routinely revised; why should WWII be any different? The more we know about what led to 75 million people being killed, the better - it might (pious hope) help us to stop it happening again. "Good for you, that’s what I wanted to hear and what you should have made clear to begin with." ... OK, pax, all apologies for any unintended miscommunication and it's good to have cast a little light. To (mis)quote a Christmas play of my acquaintance, "If my play hath pleased you ill, Blame not my wit, but my lack of skill." Thank God (if He exists, of course) that we seem to be reducing hostilities, and a pity He can't duplicate the effort at the international level. Dammit, the Guy's supposed to be omnipotent! To get back to the little bits of big conspiracy all around us, I was intrigued this morning to find a link which appears to indicate that the "sharp-dressed man" who whisked Mr. Abdulmutallab through security (without a passport, even!) at Amsterdam airport was a US Gov't agent. (the Haskell family were the fellow passengers who first reported this "sharp-dressed" man and, to their great credit, didn't just shut up about it.) No plotting by the US Gov't there, then. Jolly good. And it seems the US's veterans are as fed up as a lot of us about the way those "Bin Laden tapes" keep turning up at mighty convenient points in the story, too, according to this link. If the British ones I've met are any guide, it's hard to dismiss ex-soldiers as a lot of credulous idiots who'll believe anything - rather, the opposite. As I say, there's a lot going on which mostly doesn't seem to make it into the mainstream media undisguised, and very little of it bodes good. Very occasionally, bits of deeper truth do turn up in the main stream - an outstanding example was the BBC series "The Power of Nightmares" from five or six years ago. Once you've seen a government employee admitting on camera that "al-Qaida" was just a convenient umbrella name for all unspecified, apparently Muslim, terrorists, and not at all the organised global terror militia we're all supposed to believe in, you do (or should) begin to wonder exactly who's lying to us about what, and why. (It's still on the torrent sites, I believe. Download, watch, wonder.) (Edit: I'd mucked up an italic.)
  17. A week or so off to deal with RL and now I'm being slagged off as some sort of irresponsible "conspiracy theorist" again here. Gib, you may believe that I have come to a conclusion you don't like, but from where I'm sitting I don't believe myself to have come to any such conclusion; both as a scientist (by decades of practice and spare time activities) and as a philosopher (by inclination and training) I regard most information which comes into my awareness as tentative until demonstrated true, and I just comment on what I perceive. See below re. conspiracy proper - this is another of my longer posts, I'm afraid. Incidentally, I fall into that over-140 IQ bracket myself - for what that's worth, as IQ testing is legendarily culture-specific - yet somehow I have never felt that I ought to be running everything or grabbing an excess of personal wealth. Advising people I am working with to adopt a course of action which seems best to me, okay, but that's just me trying to use my vaunted intelligence to help those poor sub-140s up to my own exalted level of understanding, not forcing my preferences and prejudices onto others in my own selfish interest. Actually, most intelligent people I have met - including the Jewish ones - tend to take a pretty similar approach to life. But since we're in the 9/11 conspiracy thread, perhaps the most relevant thing here is to consider what makes for a good conspiracy theory, and perhaps too I might suggest why I might find some of them not entirely incredible. I find that they fall broadly into two categories. 1) The first group comprises all sorts of wacky nonsense. Elvis is alive and working in a fast food outlet in Tuscagee. Man didn't land on the moon, it was all a Stanley Kubrick screenplay. There are aliens living inside the Earth, coming and going through that well-known portal at the North Pole (Area 51's the back door, presumably). Even worse, OMG, there are aliens living among us!! - These are an endless source of entertainment, but really, if you pause to think about it for a millisecond, the disconnection from reality is pretty obvious and the contribution to human understanding nil. The only known use of these "theories" is as patent nonsense with which to smear the word "conspiracy". 2) The second group might be loosely termed the "political conspiracy theories". Think about a few of them for a moment. Republicans spying on Democrats at the Watergate Hotel? Damnable conspiracy theory! Er, no, it turned out to be fact. BCCI, where "conspiracy theorists" were spreading evil lies about international bankers plotting behind the scenes to grab whatever they could ... er, oh. they were, and crashed the bank doing it. The CIA running drugs into the US? Er, true, at least twice, in LA and Arkansas, off the top of my head, and who knows how many other places? The "Iran-Contra" controversy (a bit of Israeli involvement there, I seem to recall) ... true. That girl Nayirah who "saw Iraqi soldiers pulling babies out of incubators" in Kuwait, who the evil conspiracy theorists didn't believe from the outset? Funny how she turned out to be the daughter of the Kuwaiti ambassador to the USA, and hadn't seen any such thing - but of course, as usual, the lie had served its purpose and the troops had gone in by the time the facts came out. You notice a certain grim similarity after a while ... the conspiracy theories involving the baser instincts of the power-hungry do seem to have a habit of showing up as true when the facts are eventually levered into the light. There are lots of others. As for my "conclusion" that "there is a contrived dubious underhand "control the world" conspiracy behind the achievements of Jewish people", presumably this would involve knowing about: (a) The "New World Order", or "World Government" plan. How many more politicians need to use those phrases before people wake up? It wasn't just Bush, it was Churchill, Kissinger, Thatcher, Blair, Sarkozy, Obama, Ban ki Moon ... I think with a modicum of checking you'll find that there is a group of the ultra-corrupt ultra-powerful who wish to make - and are steadily working towards making - their power (and, therefore, their corruption, not that they seem to worry about that) absolute. That many of these are Jewish is entirely uncontroversial. ( The Bilderberg group ... which exists, and meets regularly to decide on the next chapter of history, as secretly as they can, with the connivance of the mass media, q.v. ... © The Trilateral Commission ... which exists to hook Japan into the system ... (d) The Council on Foreign Relations, and all the other ghastly spawn of Rhodes' Round Table ... exist ... to do pretty much what you'd expect ... (e) The "Illuminati" ... all historically documented stuff ... (f and onward) The UN, EU, NATO, World Bank, International Monetary Fund ... in fact, practically anything with "World" or "International" in its name - and it's funny how the same few names keep on popping up between these various organisations, over and over. You only have to listen to what their mouthpieces say to hear the wheels grinding towards "international" government (a.k.a. a small, unrepresentative and unelected self-styled élite "controlling the world") with no reference whatever to the preferences of the ordinary people who also happen to inhabit this planet, actually. As with those other "evil political conspiracies", we seem to be encountering a lot of truths here. And I have never claimed that the conspiracy - dubious and underhand as it certainly is - lies behind the achievements of (most) Jewish people; I have said elsewhere both that the great majority of Jewish people are nothing to do with the "élite" and that the "élite" includes numerous non-Jews. Presumably Jewish over-representation here, as elsewhere in positions of power, wealth and influence, is down to this amazing IQ advantage. In which case, it's a pity they prefer to use this great intelligence for the base purpose of grabbing personal power, rather than for trying to enlighten the rest of the human race and improving the lot of us all. My own IQ of 140+ only means, to me, that I happen to have the use of a brain which enjoys playing the sort of sequence and set theory games which dominate IQ tests, and perhaps enjoys an above-average ability to spot patterns and regularities in the world as a result - in fact, a brain which works pretty well for the scientific and philosophical pursuits which have kept it ticking over nicely for a fair few decades now and, I hope, has been generally helpful in some modest measure. I'm afraid that analysing what I observe is automatic, and when I see other, presumably intelligent, people carrying on as the "élite" do, I'm going to make disparaging comments about it. If others choose to misinterpret this as an attack on the main ethnic group involved, well, maybe I could have phrased this or that a little better, but so be it. It's not. It's my contempt for those who abuse their intelligence to selfish ends - that's why I generally put quotes round "élite" - a real élite comprises the best, not just the cunningest, greediest and most self-serving. I am not a conspiracy theorist. I am a conspiracy watcher. Remember, most of the political theories which accuse those in power of disgraceful activities show up as true. Admittedly, that doesn't mean every bit of every theory is accurate - that only comes out later - but it gives you a pretty good feeling for which way the wind of human greed blows and which new data support or demolish existing likely thoeries. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then for the time being at least I'll assume it's a duck and act accordingly. As for 9/11 itself (don't *think* I've posted in this thread before) - far, far too many holes and loose ends in the "official story" for it to be true, IMO. I keep watching, and noting. As for the string of "shoe bombers" and "underpants bombers" and suchlike strangely incompetent specimens who seem to pop up so regularly just when it's politically convenient for them to do so ... ah, yes, "crisis - response - resolution", classic Hegel and so very obvious once you've seen a few, but a perennial favourite nonetheless: Manufactured crisis: Obviously brainwashed idiot (check for that weird, spaced-out look) sets fire to underwear (or shoe, or, well, God only knows what next after the underpants show) on plane in alleged "bomb threat". Response: Public encouraged to feel fear: "OMG we're in great danger from these people, our leaders must protect us." (More accurately, the politicians just tell the public that this is a great danger, but not to worry because "we" will protect them, "if" they'll just accept another little bite out of their freedom. The media will assure them of how "necessary" this is, never fear.) Resolution: Clamp down another notch on ordinary members of the public, who would never in a million years think of setting fire to their clothing or underwear. Now, citizen, to help us fight terrorism you will have to go through this body scanner, which just happens to be made by a company run by one of George Bush's mates now he's got a little more time on his hands. Should make a few more mill for the Chertoff kitty, that, and just hope nobody notices that Amsterdam airport, where Pants Man got on, already has those scanners. Hmm. Another little clue somewhere there, methinks. Can't quite put my finger on it ... And so the screw is turned another turn, and the poor old public sit there like frogs in the pot as the water heats up, so hypnotised by watching "Big Brother" on the telly that they don't seem to notice what's going on around them. This could have been quite a nice world; it really is no fun at all watching it sliding into totalitarianism, but I see far too many signs that that is exactly what's happening. As honesty requires, I shall stop believing in it when I see more evidence agin than for, but I don't, despite a lot of looking. Mostly, the conspiracy theories based on assuming the worst of human nature give you a much more coherent picture of what's going on, and it definitely looks, walks and quacks like a duck, not like any sort of goose which is about to benefit humanity with a golden egg. Oh, and Gibber - well, unless you're posting from a Rothschild villa somewhere, of course - I don't accuse you, or Jews in general, of any of this stuff, only those, Jews and others, who are "up there" cr@pping on the rest of us. OK?
  18. Interesting to note that JAS's Wiki link mentions cold fusion. I remember all the guff in the press at the time about how this couldn't happen, and the ordure poured over Pons and Fleischmann as a result. Well, obviously it couldn't happen. How can respectable scientists ... etc., etc. Pons and Fleischmann took the experiment East. If you check (I think it is) Hokkaido university's site, you can discover what happened. Without the "aid" of the Press, they are continuing the research, and, would you believe it ... they are seeing evidence - copious evidence - of cold fusion. Future benefits to the Far East now, not to the ignorant West. Meanwhile, one or two more reports of all this fearsome global warming, from Global Research. Of course, these links only refer to weather, and of course mere weather has no influence on climate at all, but an interesting few articles all the same. Sell Speedo, buy Damart!
  19. At the other end of the size spectrum, it's delightful to see that the 'Golden Ratio' has turned up in quantum mechanics, too.
  20. ? - Might this be a good topic for a User Group? Everytime I look, it just says "Information: No Groups Exist" (Query to mods/admin: do no groups exist because nobody knows how to start/run one? Is there a Howto?) Or maybe just a new thread in, e.g., "Science and Technology"?
  21. I'd be interested to know what might have been developed from the Avrocar. I know what it looks like to me!
  22. Oops, nearly forgot. Yes, we may hope, scattered all over the globe. So will you join me in the opinion that all the corrupted data at CRU (etc) with those unspecified "adjustments" (of which they seem to have no record - not very scientific) should be destroyed, and a fresh database of actual data should be compiled and used - and kept easily verifiable - in future? It's not the "denier lies" that are the problem, it's the "catastrophist lies" - starting with all that corrupted, sorry, "adjusted" data, working through some curious claims about science (not least the apparent attempt by the UN to redefine Boltzmann's constant to fit their claims some years ago, but there are a good few other parts of the story which make me blink) to a suitably scary conclusion. Looking at the realclimate site tells me it's shouty. Doing the whois myself and then searching on the name tells me it's a media spin operation, not a scientific one. The Popular Technology site may be an American right-wing propaganda site (I agree that there is some quite weird stuff around the rest of the site), but that does not ipso facto mean that every word they post is a lie (as I said, I did look around to investigate their claim), nor that realclimate is independent or unbiased. And, climatically speaking, I'm still much more worried about the Sun than any minor variation in the level of a trace gas in the atmosphere. It's in a very quiet and rather odd state at the mo, and quite possibly heading towards another spot-free (and noticeably cooler on Earth?) period. That's where 99+ percent of all climatic variations, and 100% of the terrestrial energy input, come from, and there's nothing at all we can do to change it. And if it ain't providing as much energy in, we're not going to see much in the way of warming - rather, the opposite.
  23. I was amazed to discover that the denier number is the weight of nine kilometres of the thread. It's not only a surprising distance, but ... why nine?
  24. ^^^ Ah, nothing like the old ad hominem when you can't win the argument. Your lot fouled up all the data in the field, then expect everyone else to accept their "adjusted" data as truth? Give us a break.
  25. A few dreadful puns which turned up on Keelynet over the holiday: 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra. 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" 7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual." 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy. 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any. 12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!" 13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel. 14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!" 16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." 18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." 19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large. 21. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. (Apologies if any of these have come up before, but I haven't the time to read all 57 pages ... )
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