Plain English

[Marooned in Maywick]

(***Mod Edit - Split from The Ministry of Defence, a company!!***)

 

Sherlock...ever heard of these dudes...http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/

[Sherlock]

Master Maywick,

 

I have indeed, sir, heard of this campaign, and applaud wholeheartedly their - no doubt sterling - effort to promote a sensible use of the Queen's English.

 

Am I to take it that this question is some form of attaque au fer, intended to poke a finger of fun at my own use of our language (in which case, sir, I would playfully suggest that there are a goodly number of our peers herein who may have recourse to such an institution ahead of me - including Master Lookin's rather excitable friend, who writes in a curious fashion, almost guaranteed to ensure you have to peruse each comment at least twice, in order to fashion some modicum of sensibility from therein).

 

Or is there some part of the document to which I provided a link that, perhaps, confounds your own sensibilities?

 

If none of the above may pertain to your query, please enlighten me further as to your meaning. I am, after all, a seeker after knowledge.

 

 

If so, please feel free to enlighten me as to which passage eludes your grasp, and I shall - as always - do my utmost to enlighten you further.

 

Your humble servant.

[nederlander]

Do you have to be so patronising Sherlock?

[Marooned in Maywick]

Sherlock - I intend to poke no fingers of fun in any direction on this thread. I simply offered the link as a means to assist you in getting your point across without persisting in your circumlotury fashion.

 

Whilst I suspect you may have a lot of interesting points to make I tend to avoid reading your posts as the style of writing suggests someone who is being unnecessarily verbose just for the sake of it...almost a 'Look at me. I can use big words and know what they mean.' type of approach.

 

That was all.

 

I remain etc, etc.

[trout]

Play nice people

[Sherlock]

Master Maywick,

 

Please accept my apologies. No slight was intended and, I assure you, I do not speak this way in every day life. However, nor is my name Sherlock, either. Sherlock is best explained as a tongue-in-cheek characterisation - almost a caricature - born from the frustration felt by some of my colleagues and I at seeing Police Officers being misrepresented or stereotyped as misanthropic fascists, barely able to string a coherent sentence together.

 

There was also, we felt, a genuine knowledge gap regarding what we (the Police service) may/may not or can/cannot do. We therefore believed that this forum might benefit from informal and personal input, as and when required or appropriate, in such matters. In doing so, I adopted the persona of that (arguably) most famous of detectives, Mr Holmes, albeit he is fictional, whereas I am not (to the best of my knowledge). I assure you, my intention is not to boast of my loquaciousness, but to use such light-hearted characterisation as a buffer and, hopefully, demonstrate that we are not all the jackbooted thugs and idiots so often portrayed by all and sundry (including herein, on occasion).b

 

I was genuinely not being patronising in my reply, as your own post could have been interpreted - or, indeed, misinterpreted - in any number of ways. I merely attempted to answer in the same tongue-in-cheek and good-humoured fashion, which I have always attempted to adopt (and which, I might add, has previously been the subject of previous complimentary comments from several other of our peers - horses for courses, as they say).

 

I do, however, find it genuinely curious that one may post in a formalized fashion and receive criticism for this, where others may post in broad dialect (of which I am undeniably fond, however as a non-speaker, may often struggle in my own undestanding) and nary a comment is passed.

 

I suggest we are all equal, and therefore more than capable of deciding what we do, and do not, appreciate. That my prose is not appreciated by you may be a source of some fleeting melancholy to me, however it will not deter me from continuing to post in the fashion to which I have grown accustomed. I am sure that, as a reasonable person, you will respect my decision and henceforth continue to ignore my scribblings.

 

At least I now know it was not the link that you found distractingly convoluted, as my offer to attempt to explain more clearly, if required, via PM was quite genuine (the contraption from which I was posting would not allow access to the emoticons, which otherwise may have demonstrated the levity of my previous post).

 

Master Nederlander, the answer is, most assuredly, yes. However, I choose not to be. If you misinterpret my scribblings, I extend my apologies to you also, with my assurance that such was not intentional (see above for detail).

 

Master Moderators, my apologies to you also, for going off topic. However, I felt it necessary to plead my case, and hope not to do so again in future.

 

I remain, as always,

 

Your humble servant.

[trout]

^^ Sherlock - your posts on here are always welcome!

 

Personally, and in responce to posted indignation of replies, that is/has been seen by myself as tiresome.... blah...!!

 

That, if I may pursue - to read posts that have literacy, and might I add punctuation light on my brain is an enjoyment to digest. Though perchance written in style not characterised by this now late 20th - early 21st century your posts hold information and angles of communication obviously not open within todays society.

 

Lexematic difference, whilst not everyones "cup of tea" is a part of todays world. Should people not be party to this - god help us all!

 

Go for it .. and "toot" to detractors!

[Marooned in Maywick]

Master Maywick,

 

Please accept my apologies.

If I felt you needed to apologise I would most certainly accept your apology. But I don't think you do need to.

 

 

Police Officers being misrepresented or stereotyped as misanthropic fascists, barely able to string a coherent sentence together.

 

Are you sure that's a misrepresentation...?

 

There was also, we felt, a genuine knowledge gap regarding what we (the Police service) may/may not or can/cannot do. We therefore believed that this forum might benefit from informal and personal input, as and when required or appropriate, in such matters. In doing so, I adopted the persona of that (arguably) most famous of detectives, Mr Holmes, albeit he is fictional, whereas I am not (to the best of my knowledge). I assure you, my intention is not to boast of my loquaciousness, but to use such light-hearted characterisation as a buffer and, hopefully, demonstrate that we are not all the jackbooted thugs and idiots so often portrayed by all and sundry (including herein, on occasion).

 

 

 

I do, however, find it genuinely curious that one may post in a formalized fashion and receive criticism for this, where others may post in broad dialect (of which I am undeniably fond, however as a non-speaker, may often struggle in my own undestanding) and nary a comment is passed.

 

I suggest we are all equal, and therefore more than capable of deciding what we do, and do not, appreciate. That my prose is not appreciated by you may be a source of some fleeting melancholy to me, however it will not deter me from continuing to post in the fashion to which I have grown accustomed. I am sure that, as a reasonable person, you will respect my decision and henceforth continue to ignore my scribblings.

 

Some contradiction there, perhaps?

 

Don't you agree that by adopting that style you might be putting folk off even trying to read what you've written? Thus shooting oneself in the foot, so to speak, if the purpose of writing is to have people actually reading and understanding what you've written.

 

I'm perfectly happy for you to continue to write in any manner you see fit and (mildly) regrettably confirm that much of what you have to say won't be read by this Shetlinker.

 

C'est la vie.

[Muppet]

Don't you agree that by adopting that style you might be putting folk off even trying to read what you've written? Thus shooting oneself in the foot, so to speak, if the purpose of writing is to have people actually reading and understanding what you've written.

 

 

 

But that equally applies to Sherlocks comment about posts written in dialect. I find very hard to follow as everyone does it differently, to the point that I rarely read them.

 

An it's my Midder tounge!

[trout]

^^ Indeed.

 

... and with quick reference to my prior post "

Play nice people

 

... is that a hard request ..? *ponders*

[Sherlock]

Master Maywick,

 

Apologies are extended as I was raised to be courteous, and such may often soothe aggrieved parties quickly and with little damage to either party involved.

 

As for any contradiction, when I spoke of posting informally, I should have spoken with more clarity. I merely intended to denote that my scribblings are unauthorised and not representative of my employers or supervisors.

 

For my own part, I would never seek to judge by appearance, but by content and depth of knowledge. If such is ever lacking in my post, I would urge any parties to bring this wholly unacceptable situation to my attention.

 

Master Lookin, I extend my apologies to you also, sir, as this tangential dissection of language and its acceptable useage and application has, temporarily, hijacked your thread. I shall endeavour not to do so again, although my intention was wholly honourable, and I do earnestly hope you found my link somewhat informative.

 

Master Trout,

 

Your gracious and eloquent words are welcome, sir.

 

Your humble servant.

[Marooned in Maywick]

Indeed it does, Muppet.

 

And if I write in dialect, as I often do, I do so with the understanding that some people won't bother trying to read it. That's their prerogative.

 

But I'm not claiming to be a mouthpiece for any group - if I was, I'd try to make sure my message was getting across to the widest audience.

 

 

And trout...I can't help but feel that 'Play nice, people' is aimed at me. Are you suggesting I haven't been? *Looks for incredulous smiley*

 

[mod] - trout here - thought easier to reply here than to drag this up further down and on another page. No not at all - it was aimed at everyone and no-one in particular[/mod]

[Sherlock]

Master Maywick,

 

At the risk of repeating myself, I do NOT represent my colleagues or employers. I post in a stylised and personal manner, the content of which is wholly my own opinion, assisted and augmented by my "inside" knowledge and experience of my chosen occupation.

 

I take it that this clears up any misconception.

 

Your humble servant.

 

Post script

 

Has any other party noted a sudden dearth of posts from the mid-section of this thread? Is it my own confounded contraption playing up, or do we have a mystery? Quickly, Trout! The game's afoot!

 

(***Mod Edit - Your magnifying glass must be requiring a clean Mr Sherlock. The accused posts were dragged off to their own little cell. As has this one! ***)

[TeeAyBee]

^^^ Not bad - ACN would be proud of the representation of the language here. Indeed Mr Holmes, your cocaine, and violin awaits...

[trout]

"Me'finks" someone (not I) has been up to some form of moderation and the posts can be found thereabout in Plain English in the "TV, Film, Arts and Literature" forum. I'll let him explain their actions ...