Suzanna

^^^^^^^^^^^^ funnily enough I am a cheerful soul, I've read a few Terry Pratchet myself but could never get into him, feel for him, though, my mum had the same and she didn't know me at the end. My favourite shelf in the library at the moment is the teens shelf, lots of fantasy fiction, dragons, magic and the like, escapism (did I spell that right?) at it's best. Hate spelling and bad punctuation so don't hesitate to pull me up about it. Just love dragon storys, can't bide Mills and Boon type books

^^^as young as you, you mean young at heart anyway Oh the shame, fancy forgetting Elkie She's still about and touring the UK this year, mostly to sell outs, new album out Live With Friends, a lot of the old uns, and some new uns. She's such a petite lady with a big, big voice.

Elkie Brooks anyone ?? Lilac Wine Pearls a Singer Fool if you think it's over Dont cry out loud. And the rest, I had the good fortune to go to one of her concerts, years ago and she was fantastic. think I'm showing my age now, all these bring back nice memories

What thoughts on this weeks Heros. I couldn't wait until next week so I'm afraid I'd to turn to Beeb 3 and watch next weeks episode no doubt I'll watch it again though.

So many brilliant authors already. Dean Koontz anything by him and I'll read it, Funhouse, From the Corner of his Eye, Odd Thomas to name just 3 of a long list. Robin Cook is another favourite, Vital Signs, Toxin, Harmful Intent, again another prolific writer, I'm currently reading Crisis, along side A Life In Time and Space, The Biography Of David Tennant Shaun Hutson, Twisted Souls Anna Rice, The Vampire Chronicles, Lestat, the Mayfair Witches and many more. Vampire stories that make your hair stand on end. Forget Count Dracula. Thank goodness for the library, I take out 7 a week.

I called into Frankies on my way home from work and got a small haddock supper, pleased I opted for a small as I couldn't manage it all, the dog got a share though and we both enjoyed it, as good as the fort anyday.

Brilliant, had a good chuckle at this one, hope your phone dried out, and big Jim and the twins have recovered.

Keep them coming Malcom, you make people smile.

It would be funny if it was not so serious. Still it serves him right for being so stupid........ A MUST READ!!! Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in the other. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it, dipturd,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give tmyself a one second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . WHAT THE HELL!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative? SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I turd myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!! P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! 'If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.'

Many thanks to you all, the reboot worked. Ladyfootballer: Followed you instructions to the letter, bingo Shetlandcars: Thank you for your offer, much appreciated Pooks: Checked the signal strength, and it's good, didn't know you could do that, I just switch the tv on and that's it, should maybe look at more than the entertainment. Fifi: Going to try a software download today. Once again, thanks to you all

Just read, 'Paddy Clark Ha Ha Ha' by Roddy Doyle, It was a really good read and a must for mothers of little boys, things might have changed but I would think it still worth a read, made me laugh out loud but there were a few sad bits. It's about a 10 year old growing up in Ireland, but could have been anywhere, it's written as a 10 year old boy thinks. Might be good for any males to remind them of their childhood.

A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper. "Where does poo come from?" she asks. The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says: "Well you know we just ate breakfast?" "Yes," answers the girl. "Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo." The little girl looks horrified, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks: wait for it > > > > > > > > > "And Tigger?"

Thank Fifi, this might sound a bit dumb, but do I need to have the phone line plugged in, I don't have sky so I took it out ages ago. Not much of a techno, can't even work the video

This is a quote from Satcure.co.uk, seems like a fun kind of guy, made me smile anyway. Love the Definitions. Feedback is nice. If I help to solve your problem I'd like to know. Unfortunately. my memory is really poor so you'll have to remind me what the equipment is and what the original problem was. There's no point in simply writing: "I fixed it. The LNB was faulty". DEFINITIONS - Let's get the words and SPELLING correct to begin with! AERIAL: (this is how we spell it in the UK) that bunch of metal sticks on the roof. ARIAL: A sans-serif computer font. ARIEL: A biological washing powder. ANTENNA: little pointy things on a bug (insect). Pl: antennae. (It never ceases to amaze me how many people have trouble getting good pictures from their biological detergent!) http://www.satcure.co.uk/help.htm

Hi Sandy, thanks for the information, that might come in handy. Shetlandcars, Just switched off at the wall socket the first time, unplugged just now but still getting the same error message... Bummer... thanks for the reply it's appreciated, were you getting the same message??

Nope, still getting the same message, worth a try though.

I'll do that right now, thanks

Can anyone help, I have a sky box and dish, just to get a decent signal for the terrestial stations, at the moment I'm getting an error saying 'There is a technical fault with this channel please try later' This came up yesterday and affects all the channels and it's the same today, my box is about 6 yrs old, any advice would be welcome, might need a new box but don't know where to get one. I missed Heros last night

Can't count, make that three

A couple of mine, no photographer of the year but, I like these. Sunset http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk96/Mary_Fran/Shetland%20Spring%20March%202008/ShetlandSunset.jpg Where's Dinner http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk96/Mary_Fran/Shetland%20Spring%20March%202008/lookingfordinner.jpg Scary trip to work http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk96/Mary_Fran/Shetland%20Spring%20March%202008/winterMarch2008-02.jpg

Well the brochure made my mind up, I picked out the windmills alright, and everywhere I drive I'd be seeing them. I love my drive to work and the changing scenery, Shetland's a beautiful place and one thing I DONT want to see are those horrible windmills.

122.9 in town today for Petrol, 120.9 at Weisdale

http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk96/Mary_Fran/Shetland%20Spring%20March%202008/carsdrink.jpg Say's it all folks

Emmantro, Thanks for the link, to read it swapit. I usually use the library, you can order online and just go in and collect when you're in town, the charity shops are good as well, this is good third option if I can't find what I'm looking for in the other two.

Thank you Roachmill, I used your link and caught up on a couple of things I thought I'd missed, this is great for when footie's on, not my game I'm afraid