Para Handy

Just for Malachy “The bible dose it for me every time†and I don’t need to put this one through the spell checker

The SNP ar no better than the National Socialist German Workers' Party) in the 1930-1945

How about the Proposed Bressay Bridge

Ok Malachy I stand corrected this is what happens when you run every thing through an irish Dictionary . no pun intended It’s a bit difficult just to pick one book but any thing by James Herriot does it for me every time every one happy now.

If the Iranians don’t like it must be worth seeing

I hear the council has just got a Lancaster bomber councilers get a free seat next to the rear gunner

This type of 'appeal-to-a-parallel-universe' argument is inherently flawed and misleading. 1.The British signed the Treaty of Amiens in March 1802, the consequent peace, which lasted only one year, the British government had paid of most of there sailors and put most of there ships to rot. 2. Neville Chamberlains peace for our time a bit of paper that was only fit to wipe his bottom on so much for world war I being the war to end all wars. 3. Falkland war Lt Col H Jones Quote “John Nott wanted a sub surface navy and the Argentine defenders have giving him one†so much for the so called the John Nott defence review Maybe Fjool lives in the twilight zone where he should give Osama bin Laden a sweetie and tell him not to be a silly little boy. so much for the success of 'appeasement Adolf murdered any one who spoke up against him burned books he did not like it just a pity that he did not start with his own book the Jeffrey Archer of the 1930s a lot of good people died in world war I and II to keep this country free never mind all who have died in the past five years my mother said that her father was gone for over Five years when she was a little girl but she was lucky he came home but when she heard all this ban the bomb rubbish she felt short changed and wanted the five years he was gone back so I can only imagine how the people who had fathers who did not come home must feel so much for learning from history my grandfather died when I was two years old so I never met him and like her I feel a little bit short changed to he came home but did not last long but he believed he did the right thing history has proved that appeasement dose not work. An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. Winston Churchill

Alien visitors to planet Earth are boycotting genetically modified (GM) crops, claims a leading scientist. Buck Uranus, chief astronomer for the William H Carpenter Foundation in Nevada, believes the extraterrestrials are refusing to create crop circles in GM maize, wheat and other cereals because of fears of possible side-effects. The scientist has conducted a major survey of crop circles created over the past five years and says he has not found a single example left in fields containing GM crops. "In my spare time, I channel messages from alien beings," said Uranus, "and from what I've been hearing, these guys have got some serious reservations about what we're doing down here. One of them told me he's even thinking of using another planet for his artwork." According to Uranus, one shape-shifting lizard said: "The long-term effects of these 'frankenstein crops' are just so uncertain. Let's face it, it's not natural. And after the rigours of crossing many light years of space in order to leave some pretty patterns in your fields, we'd rather not take that extra risk." The visitors from outer space also have fears about contamination of plants on their own worlds, says Uranus. He claims that one Gray told him: "Just imagine — we accidentally pick up a few seeds on our undercarriage and take them home without knowing. They could spread like wildfire then and we'd end up paying Monsanto an annual fee just to grow flooble beans on our own planet. Madness."

Sir Winston Churchill was a very good observer of human nature and a lot of governments in the world to day could learn a awful lot from him and history we sacrifice our military capability at our pearl he told the government of the day back in the 1930s that we should support our military and they ignored him world war II was a very close run thing what would he have said if the troops had landed on D-Day with ammunition that did not work never mind a proper hospital for medical care for the wounded some of his Greatest quotes are directed at old Adolf so much for the ban the bomb rubbish This forum would not exist if Adolf had won in 1939 we would all be put in ovens for speaking our thoughts or printing them

Shetlands Ham radio web site http://www.gm3zet.org/

It’s a bit difficult just to pick one book but any thing by James Herriot dose it for me every time

Maybe Ian Huntly could have his testicles put into a vice which is welded shut then give him a hacksaw and then set fire to the building and let nature take it’s own magical course

Laser Pointer Pen the spot on the wall drives the new dog potty

Good Luck Mate and be careful out there in the big wide world

I never thought I would be ashamed to be British but after reading this I Can only assume that the home Office is now being run by a raciest and a complete moron a dirty bunch of sleazy crooks the first thing labour did was give them self’s a pay rise in 1997 any thing to line there own pockets they swept into the Houses of Parliament like Turds on top of a dirty wave we will ban sleaze ect what a bunch of liars Joy Bowman petition at No 10 web site

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else. Winston Churchill

A house in Uyeasound was machine-gunned during the war I watched my Father dig the bullets out of the wall when I was a boy And Wing Commander Guy Penrose Gibson VC, DFC, DSO 1 bar landed in Scatsta in a Mosquito on the 02 September 1943. he was Killed the 19th September 1944. He flew out of Woodhall Spa on a bombing mission flying a Mosquito from 627 squadron, having completed the bombing raid Gibson went on to check anti aircraft positions, sadly the Mosquito crashed Killing both Gibson and his navigator Squadron Leader J.B Warwick. http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/4068/963532dv9.jpg

Hill Street Blues

Yes indeed, how could we ever forget dear old Rumpole. Some that I have not seen mentioned so far:- Callan Shoestring Surgical Spirits Old Grey Whistle Test The Sweeny I just watched all the rumpol series on DVD this is pure class comedy you don’t get writing like this very often these days And Das Boat

There was a saying in london in world war 2 that an Italian would draw his sword and cut up a side street

Also Rumpole of the Bailey

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This completely buggers up the reputation of the Shetland Seaman once upon a time a Shetland Seaman was second to none many were high ranked in Nelsons time now they are just a laughing stock

Found this lot on a T-shirt about 15 years ago The World’s ten Greatest F**ks 1.What the F**k Was That? The Mayor of Hiroshima 2. Look at All Those F**king Indians! General Custer 3. What a Place to Plant a F**ing Tree! Marc Bolan 4. That’s Not a Real F**king Gun! John Lennon 5. Of Course I’ll F**King Beat Tyson’arry! Frank Bruno 6. I Thought I Could Smell F**king Petrol! Nikki Lauder 7. I Know Him He’ll Have Some F**kers Eye Out! King Harold 8. Who Let That F**king Woman Drive/ Space Shuttle Captan 9. No F**kers Gonna Know Richard Nixon 10 Where’s All That F**king Water Coming From? Captian of the Titanc

A bloke at my old work place put the fun into dysfunction every thing he touched stopped working