Heimdal

Weel, ders da 'Brenda', da 'Loki' an da 'Swan' fur starters, an we could maybe borrow da lifeboat some day when Neil is hom changin nappies

I think da cricket is joost bloody marvelous joost noo onybody else agree

Whit ivir du's on am no wantin it.

Saw this page for reviving dud batteries http://www.instructables.com/id/EPV474YLF3EV2Z8V9V/?ALLSTEPS

Ony easter eggs on the go yet In the shops it just seems to be one religious festival after another.

I wonder if there is any oral history about these raids in Lewis

Up Helly Aa (the last of the holidays) was formerly 24th Night, i.e. the 24th night after Yule. In 1881 it was changed to the last Tuesday in January purely for convenience.

Too many sherries and bits of cake

A friend of mine was in a posh shop in Edinburgh with her mother and aunt, both the older ladies being from Whalsay. After fruitless attempts to converse with an assistant, a supervisor came past, listened to what was going, then turned to my friend and said "I'll fetch another member of staff who will be able to understand them, she's Polish too"

Anyone else having problems accessing Shetlopedia.com. I get a 'forbidden' message when I try to access it.

I remember the late Danny Laurenson telling me about his escape from Spain during the Civil War. I don't remember the detail, but he was in the Merchant Navy at the time, and somewhere along the line he was mistaken for someone else who was on a 'most wanted' list. He got help to 'disappear' and got home by train through France. It's a long time since he told me about it, and I wish I could remember more about it. I think his daughter lives in Lerwick, so she might fill in more detail.

A nurse walks into a bank. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. She looks at the flabbergasted teller and says, "Well, that's great..........that's really great..........Some squeeky clean poop tube's got my pen.

That's how it used to be ! Bins of flour and sugar, butter came in barrels, and cheese was a big round block about 18" across and they cut off a bit, as big as you wanted, with a wire. Like that up to the late 1950's I mind it fine !

I have to agree fully with this post on another forum I am having severe reservations that these continual police interviews and accompanying expert analisys is turning this investigation into a reality show like Big Brother. I think the police should spend more time doing their job than gadding about in front of cameras and it is particularly embarrassing as it is glaring obvious they have no ideas at all at the present moment. And if they fail to find the man which must be only 50\50 in the near future then surely other weirdos knowing that over 400 police officers together with the creme diddley creme of police experts and the best technology at their disposal don't get a result then they too may be tempted to have a go. The police should be saying nothing except to give advice and ask for public help when they have something to ask about.

Here's a link to the BBC page on the subject http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/6170209.stm

I seem to remember an article in Shetland Life ?, entitled 'Shackleton's Shetlanders', some time back though.

"Fire Regulations" comes to mind

I seem to think that in Norway, the fine applied is something like 10% of the offender's annual income, plus along ban, but not too sure of the details.

It was certainly common practice for vessels to shift from Norscot to Shell via Noss and the Bard, but I always assumed it was because of lack of water in the North Mouth. Lots of folk used to go for the run

Originally, the Daft Raft Race in Lerwick was held to raise funds for the maintenance of the Dim Riv (and to finish paying for it). Latterly, it was getting out of hand with the flour bombs, eggs, etc. Not only were the other rafts the targets, but folks on the pier too. Had to stop. An alternative source of sufficient annual funding was found when part of the Dim Riv shed was rented out, so the race was discontinued. And yes, the LPA (or LHT as it was then) were delighted

Question :- Why do bagpipers march up and down whilst playing Answer :- It' more difficult to shoot a moving target

I believe Williamsons in Scalloway do Vodafone's local maintenance.

I had one of these mails a while back, so I gave them bank details, like Bjorgs Bank PLC, Ronas Hill, North Maven. I'm sure it sounded genuine to the (probably) Nigerian who got the reply. He has not written again since.

I usually have to shake my head when Radio Shetland broadcasts 'Lost Cat' messages and then says 'answers to the name........' The only thing a cat answers to is a sharp kick up the backside.

I thought H2S04 was sulphuric acid, and H2S the fart stuff, but it'd been a very long time since I needed to know that