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Food horror stories


Njugle
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^^ Back in the day before mains water, there was a small bakery, who shall remain nameless, who were known to source the water they used to bake with from within the park next door, which therein frequently grazed sheep....

 

(You're probably ahead of me by now) It was a local standing joke for years after that you had to carefully check tea loaves from that bakery to make sure that which appeared to be currants and raisins, actually were currants and raisins, and not sheep's........recycled grass pellets. Whether there had been instances where the two....products, had been interchanged within products from this bakery, or whether it was just too good a story not to keep on telling, I do not know, but, as they say "no smoke without fire".

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A friend off mine ordered a pie in a cafe that had just been opened. The staff were still getting used to everything, so when the pie was ordered she put the pie in the microwave for about 20seconds. You could tell this was never long enough and that the pie was still cold. He asked if the pie was hot so she stuck her finger through the top off the pie into the middle off it looked up and said "I'll give another blast it's still cold in the middle".

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  • 8 months later...

A man who works on the ferry is a dab hand at baking bannocks and often makes some for his fellow work-mates. Apparantly his hands and fingernails are not always the cleanest but it hasn't killed anybody.

 

The men were tucking into the usually delicious bannocks but they all agreed that there was a peculiar taste with them but they carried on eating them trying to figure out what it was. Eventually one of them said "Boys, I don't know but I tink it tastes lik germoline"

The man sitting next to him startings spitting out his bannocks and says "For lords sake, he was complaining o his farmer giles yesterday"

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When I lived south, the bakery near the place I worked sold meat and tattie saucer pies, (pies, saucer shaped) they were brilliant, quite often you would find strange bit's an pieces in the pies, bit's of plastic, fag ends etc. no-one ever got ill eating them, I loved them that much my folks would bring them for me when they came for a visit to Shetland, sadly the bakery was sold and the pies just aren't the same and really not worth the effort of my folks lugging them along on a 20hr trip. :cry: Still, there was another bakery who's pies I still like and instead of half and half from both, I get them brought from just the one. :D

 

Please excuse if my punctuation ain't correct :wink:

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  • 3 weeks later...

One time whilst being completly blootered, someone offered me the rest of their tin of tennants. Not one to turn away booze I went to finish it off in one swig only to feel something go in to my mouth, after spitting the stuff out I looked on the ground to see I had had a mouthful of slugs. The idiot had picked the tin up off the ground. He was a manky fecker.

 

Another time I found two mice or rats teeth in a rustlers microwave burger, I've all ways wondered if the rest of the rat/mouse went in there aswell.

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http://www.marketingmagazine.co.uk/News/MostEmailed/891499/KFCs-documentary-style-ad-campaign-focuses-freshness/

 

It is the "I aspire to be a proper chef, so I work at KFC" approach I cannot get my head around. Notice too that KFC is about the last word in the advert, when you watch it. You start by believing that this young chap is on the road towards his dream, to be a chef, and then.......you watch in disbelief as he is cooking with total conviction KFC.

 

Purlease - how stupid do they think we really are?

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^^^^ Everything in KFC is deep fried. This makes it about the worst of all the fast food chains. :shock: :twisted:

 

There is always that.... However, I would still rather eat something that I know is a chicken leg, wing or breast than a burger from McDonalds or Burger King which could have anything in it.

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  • 2 months later...

When I was making myself lunch at the kitchen, I got a packet of this Uncle Ben's long grain rice and put it in the microwave without the opening it before setting it in!

After a minute and three quarters, I heard this big bang in the kitchen, then I noticed that the rice was all over inside the microwave and when my parents came in and my mother came into the kitchen. She saw me sweeping up the rice in her microwave and did the turkey*, now I know I should open packets before putting them in the microwave. :roll:

 

* arguing.

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